To Create. To Live

Forgetting Our Textbooks

I'd never been so glad to forget my textbook, until you had forgotten yours as well

We hardly spoke but we saw each other

We shared so many songs and yet we never sang together

We spoke in codes and laughter and compound interest until you walked away

I was never important enough for your goodbye

A terrible and vicious realization

And the room is crueler without your smile

I know I had nothing to do with your choice to leave

But somehow it is less than comforting to think that you wouldn't stay for me either

You were always easy to talk to, easy to approach, easy to love

It's strange for me to think I've laid claim to someone who clearly has other plans

I was never part of your plans

I don't know why I let myself think otherwise

Somehow I believed my dreaming of you meant you're dreaming of me and your attention is your affection and some piece of you must belong to me

I was merely dreaming

I suppose I always was better at metaphors and absurdism, but you already knew that

At least I think you do

I must be dreaming still

But that's the only thing I know how to do anymore

So I close my eyes and I fall asleep

And I pray that I see you when they open

And if not, pray the dreams don't stop