To Create. To Live

Greatest Fear

I have this fear

This fear that I'll fail

That no matter my heart, determination or ambition

I will fail

So everyday I work

And I put myself under stress that I don't need

That I don't want

Everyday I work

I put in every effort I can

I try and I try and I try

I put in everything I can

All that I am

And push myself to the brink of insanity

Because I'm scared to fail

It's not healthy what I do

To work harder and harder

Effort after bitter effort

With all my strength 

And with all my being

I will fight myself to keep working

To do better

To be better

Because if I don't I'll fail

This pain in my chest

Begs me to rest

But I can't

If I stop I'll fall behind

If I stop I'm a failure

I can't fail

So I work

I try, and I panic, and I ignore the world

I ignore my friends

I spend my life alone

I just work

So no one knows about my fear

No one knows that for me to fail

Is my death sentence

I'm so scared that I won't be enough

That my pain

Will bring me nothing

That if I don't put in my whole mind,

My whole body

And every wisp of my crippled soul

That I'll fail

And I

Can never

Fail