To Create. To Live

One Thing That Isn't Dull

When sitting in dull buildings

and writing dull stories

and listening to dull people talk about dull things,

I came to find myself quite dull.

Years felt short and days felt long

and each was a unfulfilling as the last.

Boring, and effortlessly draining in the way

only routine living can be. 

Routine. A clockwork of doing the same things

with the same people

with the same conversations

and the same thoughts.

Somewhere in the mix of routine, instructions and criteria

I found somewhere.

It was loud

and it was colorful and sweet,

I had never experienced anything like it.

They call it musical theater.

It was so powerful,

I was ready to give myself over to it

but I couldn't.

That power, that beauty

it didn't belong to me,

and suddenly I felt like the only dull thing

in a world of excitement

I met someone.

This someone came from the beautiful somewhere

no, they made the beauty.

It radiated off of them like light from a candle

everything around them seemed to glow

everyone around them basked in it,

he loved to sing.

I loved it when he sang.

I asked him once why he liked it,

he said it brings him joy

that it was his greatest passion.

I could see where his beauty came from

and I wanted it,

I wanted it so bad.

But it didn't belong to me.

It wasn't fair,

the world allowed me that tiny piece,

that simple taste of something amazing,

music a way I'd never thought of.

I let it consume me

and then it refused me.

Turns out I can't sing. Perfect.

I spent my life trying to decide on my favorite flavor

-bland or lackluster-

and the moment I discover life,

happiness I had long stopped looking for,

disappointment laughed in my face.

So this is all I get?

I get to be dull for the rest of my life?

No, my love for music is still there

not simply the notes but the lyrics as well,

I will not be stopped by inability

I will not resign myself to dullness anymore

I refuse.

I will not walk away from the beautiful somewhere

I've found a home within a musical

within it's stories and words, 

every line that begs to be read into.

I need to be apart of this,

I want to be someones beautiful thing.

I can't let go of this passionate poetry.

That's all it is, isn't it?

It's poetry put to music.

Someones written beautiful words

for a beautiful someone to sing.

So what if I can't sing.

I can write.