Lightning McQueen X Reader

Introduction (PLEASE READ)

Edit 5/26/2020: I have seen so many people in the comments over the years who don't understand that this is satire and my only conclusion is that they do not read this chapter. I don't know why that's the case with so many people but...wow. No shade to any of you; I appreciate each and every person who takes time out of their day to read this weird-ass book I wrote when I was 14. But before leaving a comment about how I don't know how to write, or asking me if I need help with the spelling, please just look into why I wrote this, and why I wrote it the way I did. I'm drawing slightly more attention to this chapter, hence its new title, for this very reason. So... yeh

Ever since I entered the domain of fanfiction, a particularly strange part of it for me would be "X Reader" fanfics. Shipping yourself with a popular character or OC? That's just weird, and in some cases, almost beastiality. But if you like it, then fine. I don't have a problem with you. Like what you like, I guess.

But it won't stop me from satirizing the whole genre!

So last summer, I randomly coined the phrase "I wish I was a car so I could marry Lightning McQueen". It was around the release of Cars 3, which would kind of explain it. I have no idea what I was thinking, and I can't even remember how I came up with it or the first time I said it. But ever since, I haven't been able to keep quiet around any Lightning McQueen merchandise. Be it jokingly swooning over remote control McQueen toys at Walmart or breathing deeply and groaning out the phrase whenever a Cars 3 trailer came on, it was, and still is, the weirdest thing I had ever said.

Seeing how much I like the weird phrase and how uncomfortable I get around X Readers, why not combine the two as a satirical fanfic with purposeful grammatical and spelling errors? This is more for my own humor than to get reads, although I won't be completely surprised if this ends up as a meme.

I drew loose inspiration for this fanfic (namely the spelling errors) from some of my favorite YouTubers reviewing equally terrible ones. The links are here:

https://youtu.be/BjTRUQNgNnI

https://youtu.be/g0dfhAN7NEU

https://youtu.be/IALjNLB3GPA

https://youtu.be/C-am4HAHRTw

https://youtu.be/lwMacD6ZuCA

https://youtu.be/sTJT3ewZ0K4

The first five are of I Hate Everything reviewing a terrible DeviantArt story called "Hope", and the last one is of PhantomStrider reviewing 6 terrible SpongeBob creepypastas. After watching these, you should have a pretty good idea of why I wrote my fanfic like I did.

So, without further ado, here is Lightning McQueen X Reader!