I combed through my hair, tucking away the loose strands of hair. It was thinner than I remember, the length of it also becoming noticeably shorter. As I ran my fingers through my hair to flatten it, large strands came out in my hand to form a large clump. My eyes stared at it, anxiety and fear surrounded me as I looked up at my reflection. The skin on my face was dull and colourless, my cheeks and jawboned too defined. It hung loosely around my body with no muscle or fat to hang on to, just skin and bones. My eyes were deeply sunken and dark purple circles hid beneath my eyes, indicating my insomnia. The time I had left was coming to an end, the little timer in my head slowly counting down. I was running out.
I took a black hat they lay abandoned above the dresser and pulled it over my head. As I went downstairs I was greeted by my mom, standing in the kitchen as she made herself breakfast. Despite her cheery attitude I could see her red and puffy eyes, I could see how well she was hiding her pain. As I entered the room she turned around and smiled, quickly wiping away any tears that were remaining.
"Morning Areum" she greeted, a smile plastered on her face. I nodded in response, sitting down at the kitchen stool.
"I'm just going to go to Tae's for a bit" I said, grabbing my phone and kissing her cheek. She smiled and watched me leave, the door clicking behind me as I left.
Eonjin opened the door, smiling excitedly as she let me inside.
"Hello Unnie!" She said, giving me a quick hug.
"Hey Eonjin" I laughed, ruffling her hair and smiling at her.
"Are you feeling better now?" She whispered to me, looking to see if anyone was watching before she spoke. I hesitated before smiling at her.
"Yeah I'm feeling a lot better" I said, a wave of guilt running through me.
"Good!" She said, smiling a large boxy smile that reminded me so much of him. As the thought crept into my head, the sound of the stairs case creaking caught my attention. I looked up at Taehyung and smiled, his presence always calming me. I took his hand and followed him up the stairs, my eyes never leaving our fingers.
"Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes now showing concern. I stared at him blankly, slightly amused by his question.
"Sorry that was a stupid question, but really aside from that, are you okay?" He asked again, his eyes scanning my face.
"I'm okay" I lied, hoping he would maybe see through it. Maybe he saw the way I looked away from his gaze and noticed, but he didn't say anything.
"Can I tell you something?" He spoke.
"Yeah" I replied, sitting on his seat under the window.
"I really love you"
"I really love you too, Taehyung" I chuckled, noticing how clingy he was being.
"I got you something" he said, his hands digging through a draw beside his bed.
"You need to stop buying me gifts Taehyung"
I said as I looked at him in confusion as he pulled out a little black square box.
"You better not propose to me" I said, laughing at him. He winked playfully as he walked over and sat beside me, putting the box in my hands.
"I know you'll just argue but I really need you to have this, just for me" He said, opening the box. Inside the box was a small gold ring, a rose petal made from gold at the top of the ring. I looked at in awe, my hand over my mouth.
"It's a promise ring, something to tell you that I will always love you even if you can't be here to do the same" he said, making tears well in my eyes. He lifted his hand up to his neck and pulled out a chain with a matching ring attached to it.
"I love you so much" I found myself saying, a tear rolling down my cheek.
"Don't cry princess," he said, smiling sadly as he wiped away the tears.
"I know you do" he spoke, kissing my wet cheeks. He took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto my finger, placing a kiss on it after. I laughed and brought it up closer to my face to get a better look at it, admiring the detail.
"I love you, for real" he said, laughing slightly. His name was called from downstairs, his mom yelling for him to come down.
"I'll be quick" he said, exiting the room.
"I love you for real" I whispered into the silence.
My eyes trailed to my sketchbook, my hands subconsciously lifting it up and flipping through it. Most of the drawings were safe, untouched by the rain. I skipped to the back where my note was written, the ink only smudged in the corners. The letters and words were still easily readable, meaning he could see it. Judging from his attitude he hadn't seen that part yet, making me slightly relieved. I closed it and placed it back,
I am so sorry, Taehyung
