Taehyung's POV
My eyes quickly moved to the phone as I read an unanswered text Areum had sent me, one I never got round to looking at.
12:09am
Princess 🌹:
please check the back page of the sketchbook, I love you
I frantically stood up, rushing to where the sketch book sat. My finger shakily ran through the pages as my tears dripped onto my hands. The back page had hand written text, slightly smudged from the puddle I had found it in but still readable.
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Taehyung,
You know how much I hated predictable things like this, but you deserve this at the very least. I never told you anything and the reason was because I couldn't, I just couldn't do that to you. So I want to say the things I never got a chance to say.
First of all, Kim Taehyung, thank you. I can't tell you how thankful I am for you and what you've done for me. You came into my miserable life and made it bearable, and for that I'm indebted to you. I am so solely grateful to you Taehyung for bringing me a glimpse of happiness and making these last couple of months the best I've had in my whole life. Thank you for being you.
Now, I'm so sorry Taehyung. I'm sorry for bringing you down with me. We both know if we had never of met you would be living a happy life without me and we would be strangers. I'm sorry because I know how much this is going to hurt you, I'm sorry I can't be there to take that pain away. I was selfish for falling in love with you and I'm sorry that I don't regret doing that.
I know you're most likely confused, how I would kill to see the cute look on you're face again, but I will explain. You knew I was sick but you didn't know it all, so this is my explanation. I was told I would have under a year left to live before I would become too sick and my life would inevitably come to an end. My medication was expensive, more than we could ever afford. I knew my mom was suffering and I couldn't do anything about it, nothing would work. I was dying anyway, and I'd rather go like this.
I don't want you to think I didn't care or take into consideration how this would affect you or her, because trust me I couldn't stop thinking about it. But in the end this was the best thing that could happen. She will eventually get re married and move on, it will be hard for her I know this, but she is the strongest person I have ever met. And you, you will be able to live your life how you were supposed to. Your life won't be tied down, endlessly waiting on a dying girl unconscious in a hospital bed. You can go to the art school, make friends and get the things in life you deserve. Taehyung you deserve everything and I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you. You once told me about how you wanted to become an idol and have kids, a life. We spoke about it for what felt like hours, do you remember that? I did, I remembered the feeling of my heart shatter when you told me that you wanted to share that future with me. I am so sorry Taehyung, I am so sorry I could be there for that. I would give up everything for you, and I almost did. I almost stayed and tried my luck, but it would only hurt you and I didn't want that.
Finally Taehyung, I need you to promise me something. Can you do this last thing for me? I want you to forget me. I want you to forget every second I came into your head until my face is nothing but a distant memory. When you have that future you told me about, all those little kids too, then you can remember only one thing. I want you to remember my name, that being the only thing you can recall about the girl who you fixed. Maybe you'll tell your kids about me, maybe you won't. Either way I'll be there beside you, watching over you until I can't anymore. Please Taehyung, don't push everyone away and don't close your heart. Not like I did. One day you'll meet someone else, someone who will give you what i couldn't. When that day comes I will thank her for taking care of you. I'm sorry Taehyung, I'm sorry for falling so helplessly in love with you. But thank you for making it the best thing I've ever done. I will miss you more than I could ever explain.
Please take care of my mom for me, tell her how much I love her and that none of this is her fault. I wish for her to be happy, maybe marry that new boss she has a crush on. But whatever it is, please watch out for her Tae.
I love you Kim Taehyung, don't you ever forget that.
~ Areum
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