Trauma

Part 2 "Knock Knock"

# SEVENTEEN - 울고 싶지 않아 (Don't Wanna Cry)

The doorbell rang.

I got up slowly and peeked at the screen. There was no one there.

I started to panic. Why wasn't anyone there?

I ran to the front door and checked if everything was locked securely. It was.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

I froze again. It was a man's voice. I checked the screen again, trying to make as little noise as possible.

I inwardly groaned. The man must have been standing right in front of the door, not where the camera could view him. Dang it. Either he was just coincidently off the range of the camera, or he intentionally hid himself. 

I shook my head and after checking the lock again, turned my back on the door, ignoring the man asking whether I was home.

There was no way I was opening the door for him. He could be a serial killer for what I know. I would be a moron to open the door for him.

I opened the refrigerator trying to find something to eat and ended up cursing in a small voice. I was immensely low on food. God damn it. I was supposed to order food a few days ago but I was just too busy wrapping up the project I was working on that I forgot.

I ran to my laptop and logged in to my favorite grocery online site. I ordered food that will last me about a month and closed it, sighing. The delivery will take 3 to 5 days. 

Should I go outside?

I hesitated, feeling uneasy. I didn't want to go outside, considering that some man knocked on my door for who knows what reasons.

I decided to just eat Ramen for today. I will go shopping tomorrow. 

Sighing, I stood up to boil the water. 

Well, I guess it's already apparent that I avoided going outside as much as possible. 

Of course, I needed to work to live, but I had handled it by working at home.

I was a translator slash interpreter. I used to travel with my clients, meeting new and exotic people. I loved my job.  

Now, I just translate whatever they give me at my house, which was safe and cozy. It doesn't pay a lot, but enough for me to maintain a living.

Do I miss working on the field? Everyday. But it's a love-hate relationship. I don't like going outside. I don't like meeting new people. I don't trust that easily. I would rather live in my safe little bubble than risk everything. But that doesn't mean I don't crave human contact. 

After cooking up the noodle, I went in front of the TV, balancing the food and my drink.

Today was going to be just like any other day. Comforting and Safe.