Thomas Sanders Sides One-shots

Doubt

Trigger warning: mentions of self harm, suicide/suicide attempts

Roman sat on his bed, tears running down his face as he shook from the memory of his nightmare.

He quickly reached over and turned his lamp on, staring up at his ceiling remembering the body that had hung from it in his nightmare.

He shuddered and put a hand to his neck, just to make sure he couldn't feel the rope there.

He couldn't believe he'd broken so easily and that moment was haunting him day and night. He could still feel the burn of the rope, the tightening of his windpipe and his eyes bulging out as it squeezed tighter and tighter.

Roman choked on a small sob and raked a hand over his arm instinctively.

He closed his eyes and forced himself to stop. He'd promised Virgil he wouldn't do anything like that again but it was just so difficult.

Logan had scoffed at the idea of someone purposefully injuring themselves and had said "that's a ridiculous way to cope with things."

Patton had just been upset and gave him a huge hug when he heard.

But it was Virgil who had his back, Virgil who understood what he was dealing with, Virgil who had shouted at Logan for being insensitive.

It was Virgil that had cut him down after the incident.

Roman had never felt more of a failure than in that moment. He was supposed to be the hero yet he'd given up, tried to take the easy way out and Virgil had been the one to rescue him.

Roman was half glad Virgil had found him and half annoyed that he hadn't been able to do yet another thing right.

He remembered the way Virgil had walked in and froze at seeing him hanging there. It was only for a few seconds but Roman was convinced that Virgil was going to just turn around and leave him there. It wouldn't be a surprise after all the shit Roman had given him in the past but Virgil had immediately sprung into action, lifting Roman so the rope hung loose around his neck while he tried to get it over his head.

Virgil had sat with him all night, not asking any questions or anything, just being there for Roman to hug and talk to. No words were exchanged, Roman just broke down in his arms.

Roman wondered what Virgil was up to. He usually made a habit of coming to see him at night to make sure he was OK but the past few days Virgil seemed to have forgotten or realised Roman wasn't worth worrying about.

Roman shut his eyes and a hand automatically reached to his bedside table where he used to keep his razor blade. His hand met the empty space and he opened his eyes, tears trickling down his face as tried to force the thoughts of Virgil abandoning him from his mind.
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Virgil paced in his room, trying to ignore the voice in his head telling him that he was worthless. He needed to stay strong for Thomas and for Roman.

Poor Roman. Virgil shook his head to try and keep the memory of Roman hanging from his mind but it was no use. That image plagued his mind and he kept having nightmares that he'd been too late.

Virgil sunk onto his bed with his head bowed as he tried to block those thoughts out too. He looked up as he remembered the item he'd confiscated from Roman.

He shook his head. God he was such a hypocrite, telling Roman to promise never to cut again when Virgil himself was incapable of keeping clean for more than a couple days.

He sighed and stood up, walking over to his desk where a couple sheets of paper were sitting.

The first one was just a small sketch but the second one was full of writing. He'd been midway through writing when he got an odd feeling that Roman was in trouble and had then found him hanging from the rafters.