Emerald

1.8

Emerald's POV

A/N (WARNING: might be a bit triggering so if stuff like suicidal is triggering for you please, and I mean it, PLEASE don't read this part. I'll make sure to notify you when you can start reading again. I'm serious.) 

"Put your hands up and drop all your weapons!" 

A bright light hit my face and soon other lights were appearing around us. I cried out. 

"Emerald!"

"Dad!?" I sobbed out as soon as I heard my dad call out my name. I reached out the bright light. My vision was blurry and I tried to break out his clutch.

"No!" Owen pulled me back and put the gun back to my head. "Come closer and I swear, she'll have a bullet crack through her skull."

I gulped and closed my eyes. his arm was around my neck and his other hand tightly held the gun to my head. 

I let out a whine. I am so close. So close... I see my parents. My family. Liam.

"Just let her go unharmed!"

"No!" He pointed the gun to himself. "All my life, I've been told that I'm sick! I'm crazy! I've never got what I've wanted. I've been tossed around like I was nothing! Treated like I was nothing! Thought as nothing! Just some maniac! Everyone I've ever loved are dead! And it's my fault!" 

He was still holding on to me, but he held the gun to his head still.

"Put the gun down! Don't harm yourself, we can get you help! You have people here who can help you! Come here and no one gets harmed!"

"NO! No one can help me! No one!"

I won't forget what happened.

I heard the gunshot and my own screaming even seemed like miles away. Owen dropped to the ground and I was completely paralyzed by fear.

Police rushed to the lifeless body and picked me up but I couldn't feel any of it. I just knew that I was screaming and crying. I could feel a sharp pain in my leg and I felt a warm liquid pour out, but still, it was like I can barely feel it. The sound of the gunshot and screams rang in my head. I fell to the ground, I couldn't walk. I continued hearing the horrors. and seeing him fall to the ground with blood everywhere stayed in my mind. I couldn't escape it.

"Emerald!"

~*~

A/N (YOU MAY READ NOW FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DIDN'T WANT TO READ THE FIRST PART!)

I sat on my bed and stared at the wall with no expression.

"Great progress, Ms. Ryder. Soon, it'll all be gone." Julie Hamfers got up from my desk chair. she smiled down at me like she has been doing for the past few weeks. "I'll be back in two days. Bye, Emerald!" and she left.

I still sat up straight on my bed and continued staring at the wall. That night played in my mind everyday, every night, in my dreams.

I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming out a lot that I ended up having a therapist coming to my house to work on controlling it. 

My mom knocked on the door. She smiled even though I saw her worried eyes that were refusing to cry. "Hows my favorite little girl." I glanced at her and saw her stomach that was growing. 

"Better." I smiled faintly at her. It barely seemed like I could smile. How can I smile?

"Liam's here."

Since that day, I've refused to see him. Him to see me in the weakest point of my life would break me more.

I looked away and blinked away the tears. "I still don't want to see him, mom."

"Em, you need to see him someday. He's been here for days, barely getting sleep or food or water. I don't think he's even been to home or school. I wonder if his parents are worried actually." 

"How long has he been here?"

"Since you first shut him out." She ruffled my hair. "Do I send him up?"

I stayed quiet for a long time. And then I nodded. 

"Please."

She left the room with a smile and went downstairs slowly. I heard small whispering and soon heard someone else come up.

I looked out the window by my bed that had very little light shine through. Almost as if there was no light. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second.

"Delivery."

I looked over to the door. Liam looked restless and paler. 

I sat up straighter as he walked closer. He saw my leg and didn't say anything. He just went to the side of my bed and soon grabbed me in a hug. He was shaking and I heard him sniff and breathe heavily. It sounded like he was crying and it almost broke me.

"Emerald... why didn't you want to see me?" he let go of me and cupped my face. I refused to stare at him in the eyes so i avoided his gaze.

"Because... because- I didn't want you to see some weak and scared girl. I was afraid you'd be... disappointed."

"I'm not disappointed. I don't even recognize a weak and scared girl. I see something so much more. So hopeful and strong and fearless."

I looked down hoping he'd stop saying lies.

but he continued,

" Emerald, after everything that happened that day, I was so afraid that i wouldn't be able to say... that... i love you. And knowing you were in danger hurt me... but I knew you were strong and I knew that i'd be able to tell you that i love you."

I leaned over and kissed his cheek gently. "I-I love you, too." a tear rolled down my cheek finally after trying to fight it back. I kissed his lips and felt tears rush down my face.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." he murmured.

"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault."

"Is it getting better?"

"It is now."

~*~*~*~