The Bad Boys and I

CH 20: I'm home

Rachel Pov

A week passed I've been home for two days Damien goes school comes and visits sleeps wake up and go to school. Furthermore I have to make him go school.

I feel like a prisoner in my own home, Crissy chooses what I watch and what I read. She collects my work from school I try to do it yesterday I got back a paper and saw a B+ and I freaked out. I've never gotten a B. I'm a straight A student.

My mother left town this morning to go Paris for a fashion shoot. My father left town two days ago he should be back later today.

Yesterday my mother told the cop to come take my report because every time he came I made an excuse not to speak to him.

Telling the cop meant I had to remember; it means I have to accept it truly happened. I know I can never forget it but I want to at least try and I can't because everyone who visits me has the same expression pity, sorrow. Everyone feels sorry for me and their faces always make me feel worse than I do. They all see me as damaged and that's how I see myself and will forever see myself that way.

I recalled Damien's and Ricky's  faces when I spoke to the cop. I don't know which was worse, me reliving that horrible incident or watching their facial expressions as I listened.

Damien was beyond angry, then he was sad then he punched the wall and left. Ricky sat silent but I could see he was trying to be strong for me until he couldn't take it anymore and he got up and held me tightly before he left my room.

The officer gave me a sad look then asked me if I can continue. When we were finished he gave me a number for a terapist and told me to see her. I already had a terapist whom I haven't seen since mom gave me the news of me being transferred. I'd feel as if I were cheating on my terapist if I went to another but I took the number anyway.

It was evening and Crissy brought my work from today right before Damien came in with Michelle and Lydia.

"We are going out" Michelle and Lydia said in unison smiling.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea" Crissy said opening my biology text book.

I looked over at Damien's concerned expression but then I looked at Michelle and Lydia and my answer was clear. I was going out, it's Friday I can do the work tomorrow.

"Where are we going?" I asked which made things worse Damien and Crissy started saying why I couldn't go and Michelle started staying why I needed to go.

I went through the senario in my head of what could happen. I could imagine people to look like Scott, I could panic if someone touches me but at the moment I didn't care. I want to be normal again.

I got off my bed listening to them debate and walked into my closet. I took out a blue shirt and black skirt with black boots and blue and silver accessories and placed them on before stepping out of the closet.

"Where are we going?" I asked again

"No" Damien yelled and I flinched.

"Sorry" he said looking away. 

"Look I'm going to be fine, you'll be there for me Damien and Michelle and Lydia will be there and if at any time I begin to freak out you can bring me home" I  told Damien who turned and looked at Crissy whom gave him an uneasy look making me pout.

"Ok be back by 9" she said making me happy. "Damien wore that to school he can't go in that"  Lydia said looking at his outfit.

"You two wore those clothes to school you don't see me complaining" he bit back. Both Michelle, Lydia and I began to laugh knowing very well they had clothes for the party in their bags.

Damien always have clothes in my closet. He wore a blue shirt and kept on his black jeans with his leather jacket. Both Michelle and Lydia wore cute little pink dresses and silver accessories. We did our make up and left at 4:30.

The girls took their cars while Damien drove us in my car. It was a nice quiet drive.

" You sure about this" he asked as we pulled up in front Andy Cook's house.

I nodded and got out the car.