thantophobia|| adam banks|| sequel

twenty-one

Ella❤️

my talk with coach yesterday made me feel a little better. it was nice to have someone truly there for me and completely understand what i'm going through. it really sucks not having him around so often.

the only reason i didn't cry about having to go to school today was the fact that after this day is over, we're on break for the holidays. which means two weeks off, two weeks of relaxing, and most importantly, two weeks off from adam. well kind of. i would still have to see him when the ducks get together or on christmas when we all celebrate together. but at least it's not everyday.

"hey ella!" luis says, coming up from behind me and hugging me. i giggle and turn around.

"hi." i whisper and hug him. he smiles at me.

"you seem a little better today." he says happily. i smile and nod.

"not completely better but i'm doing  okay." i say "i ran into coach yesterday. we talked for a bit."

luis smiles over at me as we begin to make our way over to our first period.

"that's good. coach doin' all right out in the big world?" he asks. i smile and nod.

"just fine."

we walk into the classroom. half of the kids were talking and the other half studying for the quiz we were about to have. since i'm not much of a talker nowadays, i took out my notes and went over everything quickly. i'm doing pretty good in school now. mainly because i have so much time on my hands i use it for studying, and hockey.

"alright class. quiz time." our teacher announces as he walks into the room.

"mr. banks! a little late i see." mr. crawford says, his hands on his wide hips. i lift my head to see a very calm adam standing at the entrance to the room.

"hockey ran late today." adam says smoothly. i knew he was lying, i think everyone did. i could hear a few snickers and laughs coming from around the room.

"i'll let you go this time, just because it was hockey." mr. crawford says. adam always got away with being late to class, he got away with mostly everything he gets caught for.

maybe it was his looks, or the fact he such a great hockey player or a teachers pet. or maybe it was that smile, oh that smile.

•••

"ella wait up!" i hear a familiar voice call out. i turn my head to see marko, one of adams friends from varsity, running towards me. i roll my eyes and continue to walk.

"ella wait please!" he calls out again. he eventually catches up to me and stops me.

"what?" i ask annoyed.

"it's adam. he wants to talk to you." he says out of breath. i roll my eyes.

"why would adam want to talk? he hasn't cared all these months. so why the hell would he care know?" i ask annoyed. marko shakes his head.

"that's where you're wrong el. the truth is he has cared all these months. but those jerks on varsity are trying to turn him against you, against the ducks. and it worked , just because adam was scared he would be kicked off varsity." he says. marko's words made sense.

"i mean it makes sense." i consider his words. "okay, i'll talk to him."
markos face breaks out in a smile.

"come to our practice and talk to him after. he's gonna be so happy." marko says walking down the hall.

***

"why are you in such a rush?" charlie laughs as he walks up nexts to me. i smile over at him as we walk out of the school doors.

"seeing an old friend." i say with a smile. he smile and nods, walking in the opposite direction.

i'm going to admit it was a scary thing i was doing. it was either going to turn out good or bad, no in between. i walked through the doors of the hockey rink, where i'll be later for practice. there he was. they were warming up before practice would begin, something him and i used to do together. as i watched the practice , i couldn't help but think about a time where i had no heartbreak in my life. sure i was in denial about my dad leaving and him popping up into my life randomly was painful, but besides him my life was great. i miss coach, i miss adam, i miss my friends, i miss me, i miss the old ella.

**

the practice went on for about another hour. as the hockey players were getting off the ice, adam pulled his helmet off and smile up at me. my heart jumped and i smiled back. this time it wasn't a forced smile i had to do every morning to my friends to show them i was okay, this one was real. i got up from the bleachers and waited for adam by the door. i was overthinking me being here in he process. i was nervous this was some stupid prank the varsity team made up. i trusted marko though, yet i still expected the worst. about fifteen minutes later and after every single player was out of the locker room, adam finally walked out,his hockey bag and stick in hand . he smiles at me as he makes his way over.

"hey el." he says just above a whisper. to hear my name come out of his mouth again brought joy to my heart.

"hey." i whisper. i looked down at my shoes , too afraid to look up at the boy i loved. i didn't want to have to admit i still loved him, and i knew that this is where it's going.

"you look different." he says. i laugh.

"yeah, this is what barely sleeping and eating looks like." i laugh, but he doesn't. i finally get the courage to look up at him.

"it's all my fault." he whispers so low i could barely hear him.

"no it's not." i say "i could've stopped myself from everything i did these past months."

"but you didn't because you needed help. i should've realized that and helped you." he says , his eyes looked sad. much different than the humor, fun filled eyes he always had.

"please don't blame yourself." i whisper.

"i heard everything. charlie told me what you did to yourself. why? why would you do it?" he asks , referring to the many new and old scars on my body.

"well, some are from my dad, the old ones. the new ones are from the loneliness i felt from my losing the person i love the most." i say. i agree this , i didn't want to talk about any of this.

"i'm so sorry el. it's all my fault. and i left you there by yourself for two months. two months! and you weren't okay. and the worst part is that i still love you and i couldn't tell you and things just got worst and-" i stand on my tippy toes and do the thing that could possibly change my life. i crashed my lips against his. the feeling was something i've craved for the past two months. we pull apart, his blue eyes staring into mine. a small smile takes over his features.

"god i've missed you." he whispers before going in for round two.

MY BABIES ARE BACK IM SOBBING