Different type of love

18

Omniscient pov

For days Kodie locked herself in her room. The only time she would come out is when she had to attend classes, other than that it's like she wasn't even here. She wouldn't eat, drink, talk, anything. She felt alone...she felt like the world's target. She just wanted to end it all. She didn't want to feel anything anymore, the pain, betrayal, loneliness....she couldn't take it. She really wanted to believe that it was all unreal, a dream....but it was reality. She didn't understand it. Why would she do this to me? What did I do to be mistreated and not love by anyone? She thought. And the only way she could rid that feeling was harming herself. This time she figured it would work, she figured this time she would finally kill herself. She was ready...she had nothing left to live for. Even her own mother had began to treat her like shit. She just wanted to let go.......
As Kodie went trough the motions, Mililani went trough them also. Kodie didn't understand how much she really meant to Mililani. Her and Mililani were both in the same boat. They both had major trust issues and needed something to latch onto because so much was already taken away from them....Mililani wanted her best friend back. And it killed her because she didn't know what had happened last week. She had reminded Mililani of so much shit from her past that she could never forget. Deep down on the inside Mililani was scared. When kodies hands were tightly wrapped around her small neck, her life had flashed before her eyes. The events had reminded her so much of her ex....Ramani. Mililani never told anyone how she was treated by Ramani, she's the reason Mililani has major trust issues now. But Mililani didn't hate Kodie fort it, she had already forgiven her for putting her hands on her because she knew Kodie's actions weren't her true intentions. Mililani loves Kodie with all her heart, and would never betray her, but Kodie didn't know that. She still felt as if no one loved her or cared for her. Mililani wanted to show that, that wasn't the case at all. She wanted to prove to her that she loves her and cares for her. In all honesty Mililani was scared out of her mind, she didn't trust Kodie alone by herself. Not now, especially after what had happened last week. She could only think the worst. She knew when Kodie was hurting or depressed she would turn to cutting herself. Mililani knew if she didn't speak to her soon, she may kill herself. But she was scared....though she's forgiven her for choking her, but she can't erase then events from her mind. They were stuck like glue, they frightened her.....the look in Kodie's eyes as she held Mililani's life into her hands scared her....they were empty, they held nothing....not even regret. And that's what scared her most. She'd never seen her like that before, yea they've only known each other for almost six months now, but Mililani was positive that she knew enough about her. She paid attention, it was out of habit. She knew things that Kodie probably didn't even know about her own self. But Mililani knew she would have to muster up some courage and talk to her and soon, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if anything were to happen to Kodie. Those thoughts alone ached her heart and she knew she couldn't wait any longer. Pushing her fear aside she made her way to the downstairs door knocking and silently waiting for Mrs. Shane, she had gotten better physically. Emotionally, she was slowly falling into deep depression. What John had did to her had her mentally fucked. She loved him, trusted him with her heart. When they had first meet John was the perfect guy, or so she thought. He understood her, he listened to her, fed her lies and she believed him. He mended her heart, he had put the broken pieces back together. But now they were slowly becoming broken again.......shattered. she didn't understand why John did it, She was left more confused than she's ever been. Hearing knocking, she Sluggishly made her way to the door not even bothering to even check to see who it was.

"Good evening Mrs. Shane." Mililani softly said but she didn't even look her way, totally ignoring her presence while walking off. Mililani was used to it though, she knew the mental condition she was in and she's honestly worried for her too. Since the incident Kodie had completely forgotten to look into some good counselors. So Mililani did it for her, she found a really good male counselor who didn't even pay much. All she had to was get back into Kodie's good graces so she could get them the help they needed. Standing directly in front of her door, her heart pounded rapidly inside of her chest. She was afraid of the outcome but she knew it had to be done. She knocked only to receive silence.

"Kodie....I-I know your in there. Please open up, we need to talk" she said desperately trying to keep her emotions under control. But again, no response. And it worried her

"Look, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what ever I've done to upset you, just....just please open up" she begged feeling tears fall freely onto her small face. Kodie heard her, but she had came a little to late. Kodie was sprawled out onto the floor slowly loosing conscious as blood leaked slowly from several areas of her body creating a pool of blood underneath her. Hearing Mililani's voice hurt her, she could only remember what those two girls had told her. When she had returned back to school the rumours spread like the plague, everyone knew. It had tore her down and broke her heart even more. It had gotten so bad that a guy actually asked her how much she charged and if he could become a client. They were bullying her and all because of Rae, but Kodie didn't know that. She only went with the first person who came to mind, which was blaming Mililani. All the signs were pointing towards Mililani only because she was was the only person to ever know this, only her Kodie and John of course knew. But knowing this was a privilege, because Kodie had trusted her enough to tell her. And that's why kodie was hurting, nobody knew about this but now the whole school did. She couldn't live with herself knowing everything was out and in the open only for it to be twisted and mutilated by society. It put so much on her, as if she hadn't been going through enough already. Which is why she honestly didn't care anymore, she was done she had no more fight left in her....she thought that being here finally would give her freedom, but no......This was her way to freedom and peace.

"Kodie!" Were the last words she had heard before a tear slid down her cheek and drifting off into complete darkness....