Different type of love

29

Mililani

I regret everything that happened yesterday. All that shit I was doings out of spite. I was pissed, shit honestly I was hurt. I felt like the shit was happening all over again. But still I was well aware of what I was doing, therefore I have no excuse. I'm just going to be honest with her.
  She came into the room and sat on her bed, no words were exchanged we just looked at each other not really knowing where to start.

"There's something I need to tell you..." I said breaking the silence

"Last night It really fucked me up, I was drinking left and right, right along with smoking. I was really hurt, I felt like you were ignoring me and separating yourself from me because I'm broken or not something you need in your life. I got to messed up and I ended up leaving with someone and things....happened..." she said nothing she just looked at me. Her eyes held no form of emotion, I didn't know what to expect. That alone had me on edge. I would hate it if I fucked this up between us. It's officially been one month since we started talking and I feel so much towards her it's crazy. I wouldn't say it's love but I know I really like her. When we're together I'm all smiles, I can relax. When I'm with my mom and kodie I have to be strong for them both I am their support system. But I'm never able to break down. Sometimes I need to cry, deep down inside I'm still hurting too. And she just lets me cry, she holds me and tells me all the things that I need to hear. I can't loose her, I need her.

"Are you going to say something?"

"What the fuck do you want me to say?" She said calmly but I could hear the anger laced within her voice

"How the fuck can you come over here with all that bullshit you pulled earlier, when you are the one out here wilding?" She said now louder and filled with anger

"I'm sorry!" I cried I hate when people yelled at me.

"I don't believe this shit..." she said getting up

"Where are you going?" I tried grabbing her but she wouldn't let me

"I-I need to cool down" she said as her body shook She was so upset and it was my fault

"I'm sorry cam..."

".......I'm not mad at you, I'm just pissed at this whole situation with us ok. I'll be back, I just need some air to cool down" she said now with a softer look in her eyes

"Stay here, I'll be right back" she said wiping my few tears and kissing me......

Cameron POV

I was pissed. Because once again I let something like this happen to me again. Some how every female I talk to end up fucking me over. I wasn't really mad at her because it is partially my fault too. I was so pissed at Ramani for how she treated Mililani, that I wasn't even focused on her. I was just ready to beat mani's ass. But what really pissed me off was, she's a virgin. I don't care what they did, it's the fact that they did do something. I wanted to be the one who she experienced with. I wasn't rushing her, shit honestly it ain't even crossed my mind till now. And to know that I wasn't her first really pisses me off. So I just needed to chill out for a min, I didn't even go nowhere I just sat in my car. I been out her for about an hour now so I guess I'm gonna go back in. I went back in and it was quiet, once I got to my room I seen her asleep. I could tell she'd been crying hard because her face was puffy and her nose was red. I felt kinda bad that I yelled at her. I tried to get in with out waking her but I failed, as soon as I laid down she laid on me and wrapped her arms around my neck

"I missed you..." she said softly instead of responding I rubbed small circles on her back. It's crazy how it's only been a month of us talking, yet I feel so strongly for this girl. I don't know what she is doing to me

"Nothing happened " she said

"What?" I asked sitting up I was about to get pissed all over again I didn't take this shit as a joke

"Nothing happened, I know what you we're thinking and no I'm not playing games with you. Honestly I can't even remember last night, so automatically once I woke up in her bed I was freaking out.I asked her what had happened and she said that we kissed and she gave me head, but I stopped her before she could do anything else. Well, none of that ever happened. She fantasized about it but it never really happened. I actually passed out in her car and she let me sleep in her bed....". Honestly hearing that was like music to my ears. But in a way I was still pissed at her

"But, you still put yourself in a vulnerable position where that could have happened."

"I know.... and I hate that I did, but I'm just relieved that nothing actually happened."

"So am I" I said pulling her onto me to straddle my lap

"I don't want anyone to have what's mines. I want you to want to share a moment so precious as that with me. I want to be your first everything. That's the honest reason why I was really pissed." I said as I pushed her hair back behind her ear

"I need you to be my first everything. I want it to be special, I want to remember every part of it. I couldn't imagine it with someone else. Your the only person I trust."

"I'm sorry that I blocked you out for a couple of days. I promise it wasn't you, and it's definitely not because I think you're broken. When you told me I was pissed at my sisters dumb ass and I was trying to get her down here just so I can beat the shit out of her for hurting you"

"I was going mad crazy, you wouldn't respond to my text or calls. I was really butt hurt because i let my guard down and you ignored I me. You could have just told me what was up. And when I got here and seen her, you have no idea how much that shit really hurt me. I thought y'all had something going on and I could only think was she messed everything up again."

"Yea, I know and I'm sorry for putting you through that, it was uncalled for. I promise I got you, wether you know it or not you ain't going nowhere and neither am I.