Happily Ever After?- Diza

Chapter 17: The Only Warmth

Kaitlyn's P.O.V

We have been home for about an hour now. I fell asleep while we were in the library and woke up in Liam's car. Kayden and I sat in the beanbag chair all day not saying a word. It was peaceful and gave me time to think over everything for this evening. I just can't take it anymore.

I stood up from my bed and walked over to my desk. I pulled out a razor blade I use to open up boxes from people then grabbed my camera. I locked my door and bathroom door so the boys wouldn't hear me even though downstairs playing games. I put the camera on the tripod and turned it on before sitting at the end of my bed on a bench.

KT-"Hey guys. Today I will be reading mean comments. Each comment I receive will end with this thing here,"

I held up the blade and moved it in the air.

KT-"Moving across my wrists. Fun twist, isn't it. Let's get started."

I grabbed my phone and opened twitter. The first comment I saw was from Avery. I let out a heartless chuckle and looked at the camera.

KT-"First is of course from Avery. Let's read it. 'Kaitlyn Dobrik is disgusting and I totally hate her.' I used to not know why you hated me and why you were my fake best friend, but now I know why you hate me. Because guess what. I hate me too."

A tear streamed down my face as I took the blade and went straight across my wrist. It burned at first, but it felt good.

KT-"Comment #2. This is from dancingdancer284. 'Sometimes, I wish you never existed. Your parents should have used a condom so you wouldn't exist. I only like Kayden you piece of shit.' That might be my favorite comment because you like my brother."

More tears streamed down my cheeks as I took the blade and made another slit. I heard the T.V downstairs turn off, but I didn't care. I looked back at my phone and more tears fell.

KT-"You know this one is actually my favorite."

I put the phone up to the screen since this won't get edited. I heard the guys coming up the steps, but that didn't stop me.

KT-"It's from Avery. It says, 'Why don't you just go kill yourself already. No one will miss you. No one will care. No one will be at your funeral. And no one will want to turn back time to stop you.' You know Avery, I might actually take your advice. Because you aren't wrong."

I heard a knock on my door as more tears fell, but that didn't stop me. I lift up the shirt I had previously changed into and looked at the camera.

KT-"Here you go. Your dream is coming true. Goodbye Kayden. Goodbye Liam. Goodbye Nathan."

I took the blade and put right above my stomach. The guys were yelling at me outside my door asking why I was saying goodbye to them. They started to bang on the door and tried get it open. I pressed the blade down and pulled it across my flat stomach. The blood poured freely onto my hardwood floor as I continued dragging it. I stopped when I reached my waist and there was a huge slit. I dropped the blade on the ground and stared at the camera.

My vision started to get cloudy as more blood poured out. I lied down on the ground and stared at the ceiling.

People will ask, why did she kill herself? What drove her to do it? Why is she gone?

I have answers to those questions. No one will know them, but I have them.

I'm killing myself because I hate myself. People and actions those people did drove me to do it. I'm gone because I had other plans. I'm only ending the pain and to do that, I have to end my life. And I don't have the energy to start it all over to fix it. I don't have a point to fix it anyways.

My life asked death, why do people love but hate me? They responded with telling me I'm a beautiful lie and death is a painful truth. And death isn't wrong.

The pounding on the door became quieter as I became tired. I grabbed the necklace and held it as my eyes became heavy.

As I lay here and die, the stars will disappear, the sun will come up, the earth with rotate, and the seasons will still change. I am just another face in the crowd that won't affect anyone or anything.

A tear escaped my eye and onto the ground as I closed my eyes for the last time. They closed just as my door opened.

The sounds drowned out as I welcomed death into an embrace.

With my body numb, with the sounds gone, and with full darkness surrounded me.

The last I did, was hold the infinity sign necklace in my hand. That being the only warmth I could receive before I disappeared out the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Instagram: dizadoshyneeded129