The Gangster's Mary Jane

Thinking Out Loud

"I'm thinking 'bout how,

People fall in love in mysterious ways,

Maybe just the touch of a hand."

-Thinking Out Loud, Ed Sheeran-

Vincenzo Colombo

Is the Leader of a Gang allowed live like a normal guy? Instead of having a gun in his hand and pointing it at his target's head, can he be holding little shining lights in his hand?

Instead of having the most serious mood and a scowl on his face, can he be happy and have a small smile on his face?

Instead of sitting in his dead room and thinking about the next crime he should attend, can he be sitting in the middle of a vacant street and admire the beauty before him?

Because that's what I'm doing... Holding lights in my hands, having a blissful feeling bubble up in my chest, and sitting in the middle of street-- staring at the beauty before my eyes.

She played with the bright, moon shaped light in her hand, holding it up to compare it to the real moon in the dark sky.

She compared a fake moon to the real moon, while I compared her to the real moon. The moon being nothing compared to her...

"Go back," She waved her hand at me, and I moved back with the help of my hands, my legs still crossed, "More, more, more..." After I was about ten feet away from her, she held her hand up, "Okay, enough!" And giggled.

We then just sat there, Mary Jane giggling at me while I just smiled, although I found nothing funny here. "Can you throw that remote over to me?" She nodded towards the black remote beside me, and I threw it towards her-- and of course, she missed it as it hit her chest, "Oh," She smiled shyly and rubbed the spot.

With the remote-- for which I had to go back to the beach to 'steal', as Mary Jane called it-- she changed the light's speed to slow, before her shining eyes stuck themselves to me, a smile plastered on her face.

Maybe the view in front of her wasn't very pleasant. But the view in front of me was very, very pleasant. She's mesmerizing. She's mesmerizing and I'm mesmerized.

Mary Jane played with the bright object in her hand as if she was drifting into her own little world. I wanted to too, only not in my world, but in her's. Where there's nobody else but us. I'm desperate. Very desperate.

I cringed at my needy self. This is not me. I shouldn't be thinking like this. But the more I try to push this feeling aside, the more it follows me.

My eyes and mind flickered away from her when I stood up, looking around the empty place. Trailing my eyes from the trees to a few closed shops, and then again trees, I tried to distract myself from my overwhelming thoughts that are always ready to control my mind.

I don't know how and when, but I wasn't as close to Mary Jane anymore, maybe got too distracted. My feet continued to carry me away, far and far away. From her. My heart was being tucked on, and I wanted to turn around. A feeling of something being left behind was running through my body, telling me to turn around and go back.

My stubborn mind wants to believe I just want to go back because my things are back there. Although my heart's situation is the whole opposite. Your Jeep, Vincenzo, you left it and that's why you you feel like running back. Your gun. Your money and-- your woman.