The Gangster's Mary Jane

Home with Hurt Body & Heart

"When I'm cold, cold,

There's a light that you give me,

When I'm in shadows,

There's a feeling of ever, everglow."

-Everglow, Coldplay-

Mary Jane Ferrari

My tired eyes stared at the only thing that could entertain me in this place. The window peeking the moon and stars in the dark blue sky. My stomach growling in hunger didn't bother me, neither did my dry throat, or my messy hair, or my thumping head, or my throbbing wrists, or-- well, so on. The only thing that's bothering me is that I know my life is in the hands of the person who can end my life in seconds if he wants. He can end my life. What will happen then? Will my death go unnoticed?

The moon before me became blurry as my eyes started to flood with tears. No one would care. Vincenzo, Aaron... Mom and Dad. They probably don't even know what I'm going through. They barely ever called me, because they knew-- or thought, that I was in hands of a trustworthy person. Oh, how wrong were they.

A loud thud behind me jerked my body forwards as I swiftly turned around. The sight of Jaggar with a tray made me blink my tears away quickly. He stepped closer and closer, until he was standing right in front of me, his knees pushed against the edge of the bed as he placed the tray in front of me. I stared down at the bowl with steaming soup in it, before placing my hand on my cheek and looking away-- so he couldn't see me much anymore. "Eat." I could almost feel him gritting his teeth as he said that, but I didn't move an inch. "I said, eat." No movement was made by me, but seconds later, my entire body was on the cold ground and my scalp was screaming pain.

He just dragged me to the ground by my hair.

"When I tell you to do something, you fucking do it. Do you get that?" I covered my face tightly, but small screams kept passing by my fingers as he got closer and got on his knees. "Now, will you eat?" Long fingers brushed inside my hair, soon fisting it tightly.

"Ah! No! No, I won't!" He clicked his tongue and shook his head,

"Wrong answer." I shut my eyes in horror when I saw what was coming up. A hard palm was smacked right on my cheek-- I screamed and kicked around to free myself from his death grip but it got even tighter, "Do not-- and I really, really mean, do not anger me. The consequences won't be pretty. And neither will be your face." I squeezed my eyes when I saw him reach for the tray.

With a hand pressed on my neck, I felt a hard object touch my lips. "Open up, Bellissima."

I shook my head. And the spoon on lips was thrown somewhere and my eyes were snapped open when his weight got off me and he stood up. Maybe it was too soon to be relieved, because just as he got up, he grabbed the bowl and threw it at me. I screamed the loudest scream ever-- the steaming hot soup burning my chest-- I fisted my shirt and ripped the buttons open, slapping my red skin while my eyes poured out tears of pain.

"Aw, I think I burnt you. Let me solve that." Suddenly ice cold water was splashed on my face and I gasped loudly. My heart was getting tucked at as I wished the water had hit my burning chest instead. A loud noise of the bowl shattering in pieces made me crawl backwards, knowing what this cruel man was about to do-- and my breath was stuck right in my throat when he seized my ankle and pulled me towards the sharp pieces-- due to the amount of pain I was already going through, I didn't have it in me to scream anymore when he grabbed my face and pushed it into the fragmented glass as it digged into the skin of my cheek and jaw.