The First Private Orphanage: Adopted By Lin-Manuel Miranda

Thirteen

Jamie *contains suicidal thoughts/actions*

*two years later*

I have no reason to live. I want to die. I pull out three pieces of paper. Then another. I prepare four letters.

Daddy,
Hi. It's Jamie. I love you guys so much. Just know that I'll be watching over you guys. This world is just too harsh. If you checked Twitter anymore you'd know what I mean. I'm just done with everyone telling me to kill myself. I want out of this life.

Tell the cast I love them too. And hey, if you want, you don't have to show up to the funeral. It's fine. I don't care. It's not like I'm worth it. In a year or so, you'll forget I ever existed. Trust me. That's what they all say.

I don't want you to be sad. It's fine if you are. This will make you stronger. I know that for a fact. Just whatever happens, if I somehow survive this, please just don't think of me differently. I mean, sure I'll try again.  All because I don't wanna live anymore. But that doesn't mean I don't love you any less.

Sincerely,
Jamie

Mama,
Hi. It's Jamie. I love you guys so much. Just know that I'll be watching over you guys. This world is just too harsh. If you checked Twitter anymore you'd know what I mean. I'm just done with everyone telling me to kill myself. I want out of this life.

Tell the the boys I love them too. And hey, if you want, you don't have to show up to the funeral. It's fine. I don't care. It's not like I'm worth it. In a year or so, you'll forget I ever existed. Trust me. That's what they all say.

I don't want you to be sad. It's fine if you are. This will make you stronger. I know that for a fact. Just whatever happens, if I somehow survive this, please just don't think of me differently. I mean, sure I'll try again. All because I don't wanna live anymore. But that doesn't mean I don't love you any less.

Love you,
Jamie

Sebastian,
Hi. It's Jamie. I love you guys so much. Just know that I'll be watching over you guys. This world is just too harsh. If you checked Twitter anymore you'd know what I mean. I'm just done with everyone telling me to kill myself. I want out of this life.

Take care of Alex for me, yeah? And hey, if you want, you don't have to show up to the funeral. It's fine. I don't care. It's not like I'm worth it. In a year or so, you'll forget I ever existed. Trust me. That's what they all say.

I don't want you to be sad. It's fine if you are. This will make you stronger. I know that for a fact. Just whatever happens, if I somehow survive this, please just don't think of me differently. I mean, sure I'll try again. All because I don't wanna live anymore. But that doesn't mean I don't love you any less.

Love you lots,
Jamie

Jonny,
Hi. It's Jamie. I love you guys so much. Just know that I'll be watching over you guys. This world is just too harsh. If you checked Twitter anymore you'd know what I mean. I'm just done with everyone telling me to kill myself. I want out of this life.

Tell the cast I love them too. And hey, if you want, you don't have to show up to the funeral. It's fine. I don't care. It's not like I'm worth it. In a year or so, you'll forget I ever existed. Trust me. That's what they all say.

I don't want you to be sad. It's fine if you are. This will make you stronger. I know that for a fact. Just whatever happens, if I somehow survive this, please just don't think of me differently. I mean, sure I'll try again. All because I don't wanna live anymore. But that doesn't mean I don't love you any less.

Sincerely,
Jamie

Alex,
Hi buddy. You're too young. You won't remember me. But know that I loved you while I was with you.

Love you always,
Jamie

With that, I string up a rope and grab a chair. Lin and Vanessa are out with Seb and Alex. I put their letters on the table in the dining room. I stand up on a chair and wrap the rope around my neck. But I can't bring myself to knock the chair over.

So, I get off the chair and grab a handful of my depression meds. As I'm about to take them, I hear a door open. "V, do you know what these letters are?" I hear Lin say.

"No." I hear silence, I swallow two of the pills. Then, I hear heavy footsteps. I swallow the rest of the pills. Lin stands in the doorway as I do.

"Jamie, what the hell did you do?" He asks, more panicked than anything.

"I swallowed like ten of my anxiety pills." I answer and he stares at me, shocked.

"V! WE GOTTA GO! JAMIE TOOK TEN PILLS!"

Lin

I stare at the white wall of the hospital. Vanessa holds my hand. Jamie had passed out before we got to the hospital. I sigh, my leg shaking uncontrollably. "Mr and Mrs Miranda?" Vanessa and I stand. "Jamie has passed away. I'm sorry for your loss."

                                                                              

                                                                          The End