Aphmau Graduation days : Zanevis story

I'm here for you

As the wind blew through Zane's hair, he looked at Garroth with pleading eyes, "please let me stay for a while longer!" Zane thought. "please?!" He was just like a poor kid who didn't want to leave the playground just yet. But Garroth stayed in his demanding pose. "No." He would have said, mentally. Zane looked at Travis's shoulder, knowing how much he would miss it tonight, and cleared his throat, "well, um, we must be going now, before tomorrow, so. Yeah" Zane said it like he was in the military force or something, he let go of Travis's waist and started to shuffle his legs under Travis to get him off. Travis was so confused, they were having the time of their lives back there, so what happened? Travis wondered this as he headed back to the college campus with Zane and Garroth. The three of them got to the building where Zane's and Garroth's dorms where, "Where do you live Travis?" Garroth asked. The entire walk back was overflowing with silence, everyone had their separate way to go. When they got back to Zane's building, it seemed like there was enough silence, Garroth spoke to break some three foot ice clump, "so, where do you live?" He made Travis jump a smidge, then answered. "Oh, um. Right across here actually." He turned to the left of where he was facing before and pointed to darkness with a few sparkles reflecting from the stars to the windows. "Oh, well. We'll sure come and visit sometime!" Garroth said cheerfully, laughing to get some humor going, still nothing. "Right,right.." Travis nodded and looked at Zane, he waited for Zane to say something to him as well, but nothing, not even a look. Zane looked Garroth, waiting to see if he was done, and he was, because he was looking back at him, sternly. This angered Zane more and didn't feel like being with anybody right now, not even Travis. Travis spoke againg hoping to get Zane's attention, "so! I'll catch up with you guys later, Garroth....um...Zane?" Zane stormed straight foward to the door, "Yeah." He scoffed, and the doors closed behind him. Travis was quite surprised by the response he got, he felt like crying, but not enough for him to have to hold them back. He looked down, feeling overwhelmed with many negative emotions, he looked at the ground with a frown that wouldn't be turning upside down any time soon. Garroth could feel the awkwardness sneaking back around, not that it really left in the first place. "Heh, well see you later! Apologies for my brother, he's just grumpy beacuse of his bedtime." He laughed awkwardly, Travis didn't bother to look up. Garroth pressed his lips together as he saw Zane through the glass wall, running up stairs to his dorm, he needed to talk to him. So he finished the conversation, "Uh, goodnight!" He said quickly, and walked fast towards the glass door. Travis looked up to see Garroth leave, "Yeah, bye" he said glumly, feeling like he had his love run away from him,.....again, he sighed and made his way back to his dorm, he then reminded himself that he had achived his main goal of all of this, "at least he's safe." He sighed trying to smile, but the sadness was too heavy on the corners of his mouth, so he didn't. Meanwhile, Garroth chased his brother upstairs, slowly catching up to him, "Zane" he whispered, trying not to disturb the people in their dorms. Zane sniffled as he kept wiping his face with his leathered sleeves, Garroth wasn't sure of what he was doing, but a part of him felt guilty for it, very guilty. "Zane, please, talk to me." He whispered again. Zane kept running up the stairs, and after two flights, he got to his dorm room. He tried to slam the door behind him, but clothes blocked the way from shutting completely, so the door was half open. Garroth huffed, feeling a bit tired from that night jog, but after a few close catches of Zane's jacket, this was the closest he had ever gotten, so far that is. Garroth as he got closer to the door, feeling like it was a murder scene from the most horror stories and films. Garroth tapped the door gently ("tapped the door gently" Garroth! Stop being normal!), preparing his final thoughts just in case this was the end for him in the movie, but nothing happend. All there was, was an eerie 'creak' from the hinges of the door, Garroth stepped in. Peeking from behind the door, he saw a black mass expanding and shrinking to a small ball and repeating this cycle for a bit longer after entering. Garroth then heard a set of faint sniffles, along with what sounded like crying. He had never heard his brother cry since he fell off a swing once almost seven years ago, he had ended up with a sprained wrist, this had to be bad if he was crying, he felt like trash. "...baby brother..? Garroth asked softly. The mass of black stopped it's little cycle of extending and shrinking, the crying had stopped so suddenly, then, there was silence, flooding the room like an ocean. "Baby brother? I...I'm sorry for.....that I..." Garroth couldn't find the words he needed, "I'm sorry for ru--" Zane saved him the trouble and cut him off, "If you're really "sorry", then shut up and leave my room, and might as well, my life!" Zane snapped. Garroth heard his heart shatter, but at the same time had empathy for him along with the strongest emotion, anger. "Zane!" Garroth yelled, Zane jumped a bit, he then realized that yelling wasn't going to do anyhting productive, so he tried again. "I am trying to help you Zane, but please! Tell me what's wrong first." No answer, but the silence lasted shorter than last time, and then an answer. "Nothing's wrong! Garroth, now leave me alone....now." Zane said a bit calmer, but still cold toned. Garrith wasn't gonna listen to him, he kept talking, "But Zane, you can't jus--" he got cut off, "I said, Get Out!" Zane cried, turnng around to give face Garroth, and make him leave, giving him the stare. Garroth had never felt so many goose bumps at the back of his neck before, by just looking at his brother until now that is. His was stared down cold, his eyes, icy bluer than ever before. But instead of running away, instead of screwing him off instead of helping him, he had one thing keeping him from leaving, his tears. Zane had never shown his emotions to anybody, not even his family, he did have no friends to talk to about regular things, or deeper emotional things. The only "friends" he ever had were the people who did his biding, asking people of his old gang to threaten any people who seemed to be "stepping out of line", all the people that were brave enough to stand up to him. But that wasn't what Garroth was looking at right now, he was looking at an anxious, insecure person that followed a dark path in life, and eventually ended up here. "Zane.." Garroth looked up and down at his face, then stared, "are you....crying?" He asked in a soft voice, Zane had forgotten about that, he looked at himself in the mirror, his makeup was all smeared down his face. His emotions started showing, he didn't like that. He quickly wiped his tears, yet again, trying to hide as many emotions possible. But the thing was, the more he tried to hide them, the more obvious they became to Garroth. Zane quickly turned and slid off the bed and went back to were he hid before on the floor, "Shut up," he said in a normal, but weak voice, "no I'm not. It's just...a...a branch poked my eye earlier, and, that's it! Okay?" He put his hands on his head, "Leave me alone..." He curled back up and waited for Garroth to leave. He didn't. He waited for another three minutes, to let him cool off. Garroth felt like he cooled off enough to speak again, "Zane, I can help you." He repeated, but Zane still didn't get what he meant by that, Garroth proceeded with his method of helping Zane, "It was what I said back there, wasn't it?" Zane stared at the ground, he was onto something, but he couldn't let him know, "I don't know what you are talking about." He pretended. Garroth knew Zane did know what he was talking about, and continued, "You wanted to stay with him a lot longer than I let you, didn't you?" Zane started feeling more self concious about the way he was feeling, "No. I. Didn't." He hissed, the more Garroth interrogated, the more obvious it becam, he was sure that Zane felt something warm and fuzzy in the inside when he was with Travis. "It's okay that you feel that way about him, I'm ju--" he got caught off, "I don't! Okay?!" He blurted, Garroth stopped talking as Zane slammed the floor with his legs. He clamed down and explained himself, "I mean, even if I did have any feelings for him,  it's not like I would've protected him like he was my own, a white haired..." Zane started spiraling, "with equally white shining teeth when he smiles..." he continued, "...and many many flaws, but remains gorgeous in his own....dumb, but cute self. With an equally gorgeous loving, warm heart..." He realized he was spiraling and looked down at his bed, he gave up on hiding his feelings, he had said to much anyways to try and hide it. He sat down on the floor once again, he was tired and cold, and looked down feeling guilty for not showing that (with words that would've had a deeper meaning than a kiss), and now, maybe he would never get the chance to. Garroth felt that Zane would finally let him in (not just emotionally) and stepped in farther down in his room, beside him. Garooth slid right beside him, Zane let him, he wasn't too thrilled that he was here and that he had won once again, but he himself knew he needed help. He looked at Garroth for guidance, just then, Garroth started to speak, "Zane look. I know you probably feel like you messed up here. But the thing is, you didn't, it was my fault for butting in like that (Ha! "Butt"), I should have stopped listening to mom and dad's voices in my head, telling me what to do with you. And for that.." He lookd at Zane, and caught his eye for this, "I'm truly sorry." Zane's eye looked at Garroth more intensely, he had never said anything like this before, he kept listening. "You had a relationship that was perfect for you, but my pressure from our parents got me." Zane looked away from Garroth's eyes and into the floor's, he knew Garroth was just saying this to make him feel better, but that wasn't the truth. "but it wasn't your fault.." He finally spoke, spooking Garroth with the fact that Zane actually felt something. He listened to Zane speak out what he was thinking, "It was mine, I had many chances to directly tell him how I felt about him, but I was too scared, so I didn't. Why else would it have been so easy for you to seperate us so easily. We just didn't have that strong bond." Zane looked even more dpressed, even Garroth could feel it, "and now, I lost him....for good." He choked up in the end, Zane hid his face with his knees. Garroth saw Zane's tears, and his natural instinct was to pat Zane on the back (at least that's what he does with Laurence when it wasn't the brightest of days), so he did. But Zane's immediate reaction to someone touching him for, even short periods of times, was to pounce away, and that's what he did. It made Garroth flinch, then realized he should've seen that coming, "Sorry Baby brother" he apologized sincerly, Zane was kinda tired, he didn't get too mad, "Whatever" he scoffed, going back to his curled up ball position. Garroth saw that he calmed down, "But, anyways" he continued, "This isn't a lost cause, maybe there is a chance for you to reach out to Travis and apologize. Tomrrow!" He cheerfully said standing up to strech out and get his attention. Zane wasn't so sure about this, and had some questions, if this was what it was really coming to. "But what if he dosen't accept the apology?" He asked as he stood up, Garroth gave him a smile, "than he's sure missing out". Zane knew he was just being nice, he would never have said something like that if he wasn't so upset at the moment. He didn't question that, he moved on to the next question instead. "But I thought we had another brother meeting thing tomrrow" he looked concerned. Harroth smiled to calm him down, "It's okay, mom and dad told me it was safe to rescheduel since we won't have the same clases or the same club meetings." Zane stopped to look at Garroth's eyes throughly to make sure he wasn't lying, he didn't find anything "suspicous", so he kept listening. "Besides, I would never rat you out, you're my baby brother and I love you," Garroth looked at Zane, he didn't look to comfortable. He kept talking, "and what kind of already great brother would I be if I rated you out?" Garroth said with such confidence. Zane looked to the ground, "Yeah, 'great'" he murmured under his mask, Garroth couldn't quite understand what he had said, "what? Did you say something?" He asked, Zane wanted to say something, but figured if Garroth took it the wrong way and got mad at him, his only chance to see Travis and talk to him before it was too late was at risk, "that's too much" he thought. Garroth waited there for a while, "Zane?" He asked, Zane stopped thinking, "Nothing!....nothing" he lied. Garroth thought it was odd, so he shrugged it off. He started thinking about the plan on getting Travis to meet Zane and talk things out, he explained the process on how they were gonna do this, "alright, I'm gonna see him at anime club tomorrow for a quick meeting on what's gonna happen next year, so I'll talk to him to meet you where we met last time, same time too." Zane repeated this valuable information to himself in his head to keep it in there, "Okay." He replied. Garroth walked to the door, "so, ready to meet you're white haired prince tomorrow?" Garroth teased. Zane turned to a strawberry red, he still wasn't used to this "feelings" thing yet, and it was weird for him to see Travis in that way. And if he was the last person on earth, he would've been the last person he wanted to be stuck with, and now, he couldn't stop thinkins about him! Zane was still pretty confused on why all of a sudden he wanted to be with this guys, forever and ever, but ratherd not question it. "Sure, I guess" he said instead of showing his true happiness, and thankfully enough. Garroth was about to leave, Zane stopped him right before he stepped out of the door way, "Hey Garroth?" Garroth stopped, and looked at Zane, "yeah Baby bro?" He asked him. Zane looked kinda shy about whatever he was gonna sya, but he eeventually came out, "you're not gonna tell mom and dad that I, um," Zane looked at the floor putting his arms crossed, "you know, into another..." Zane looked up, hoping Garroth got the message, and he did because he saw that he started smiling. "Zip!" He said as he put his thumb and finger together to pretend to zip his lips up, Zane smiled. "You have nothing to worry about," Garroth said as he reached the door handle to close it. Zane still didn't look as confident, and knew something that might help him. "And Zane..." He said, Zane looked at him, "I love you no matter what, It dosen't matter if you're gay. I love you, and so would mom and dad, like always." He said as he started to close the door, Zane looked at the ground, blushing a little less. He looked up at his caring brother, "thanks" he said bashfully. Garroth smiled brightly as he waved, "good night" he said, Zane didn't sa anything but waved back. Zane then looked in the mirror, pretending to be talking with Travis. (He was actually nerve-cited to do this for real tomorrow) "Hey dork!" He tried to say playfully, but came too strong, "no, too jerk like, "you look nice today" Zane almost barfed on that one he was trying to be kind, but not too far from being himself, "ew, too kind." The things he said either were too mean or too nice, "Ugh, what do I say to him?! Come on..." He looked at the ground to think about it, then, he came up with the simplest way to show him that he cared for him, he looked at himself in the mirror once again, and spoke, "Travis.......I love you."