Harry Potter OC Critiques [PAUSED]

23 - SnakesnSkin

Full Name: Tiffany Caliente

[I was gonna do my whole thing with the name origins, but you've definitely already googled and found the same definitions I've put here, so I'm going to stop.]

General Appearance: Has thick, waist length, wavy black hair that is cut into a thin, shortly layered fringe at the front/top so it sort of sits like a mullet-type fringe. Has a tanned/olive complexion and very defined features. Big green almond shaped eyes framed by high arched eyebrows, high cheekbones, a strong jaw, pointed chin and thick shapely lips. She also has a slight gap in between her two front teeth, and and long fingernails that she sharpens into points and paints chrome silver. She is taller than most girls, with long legs and a slim build. Although she is far from shapeless and lanky; with a tiny curved waist, toned stomach and perky behind. She had a special 'enhancement spell' put on her breasts for her sixteenth birthday, so they sit up in perfectly round circles at a DD. Has a hissing cobra tattooed on her upper outer left bicep, a barbed wire bracelet going around her upper right bicep, a Chinese dragon on her left foot, and her mother's Azkaban number on the right side of her neck as tribute to her.

['Taller than most girls' is veeeeery vague, and actually a pretty arbitrary standard. What's tall is a pretty subjective standard, but I know more girls taller than 5' 10" than shorter, and it's nowhere near tall enough to be an easy identifier in a crowd. Gonna assume 'mullet-type fringe' means that she has really fluffy, spiky hair. Slim build probably refers to the fact that she's either a little or very underweight.

If she's got a toned stomach, does she work out? I'm tempted to completely ignore the enhancement thing, but also how? What spell? It was a spell and not a potion, so it couldn't be a heavily modified polyjuice- is it legal? Perfectly round circles is just generally a weird shape for boobs to be? What does it mean?

When did she get tattoos? There's that whole joke with Harry having a hippogriff tattooed on his chest so they exist, but is it, like, a magical moving tattoo? I get the Azkaban number, but are the cobra and dragon just to look cool or do they have symbolism too? ]

General Plot Outline of Book: She and Roger Davies were dating and very much in love, until her family found out and forced them to break up due to their blood purity beliefs (his family are 'blood traitors').

[Yeah okay whatever.]

Now, she has started a rebellious and highly sexual relationship with Barty Crouch Jr. (not that her family minds the age difference due to his beliefs),

[YEAH OKAY WHATEVER]

and everyone (including him) is pushing her into the idea of marriage, but as time goes on she finds the thought of Roger still impossible to shake, and it makes her question her allegiance with the dark side altogether.

Age: One year older than Harry, story takes place (present moment, when she starts up with Barty) when she is about 16 turning 17 (to fit the plot can we please just pretend Barty got away with impersonating Mad Eye and isn't drooling away somewhere in Azkaban)

[AUs are fun.]

DOB: May 21st 1979

Height: 177cm (5"10)

Weight: 55kg

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Race/Species: Half British, Quarter Spanish, Quarter Lebanese. Pure blood witch.

[Bless you.]

House: Slytherin

Family: Her mother is Bellatrix Lestrange (ne. Black), and her father is Bellatrix's first fiance half Spanish half Lebanese death eater Khadeji Caliente.

The two met and became engaged when Khadeji came to Britain to be closer to the Dark Lord, and Tiffany came along before they were married. Two weeks later, Khadeji was killed by a member of the Phoenix during battle, so Tiffany never got to know him. Bellatrix married Rodolphus soon after so that Tiffany would at least have a father figure, but not long after they were both imprisoned for their crimes and Tiffany was left to be raised by her close relatives the Malfoys, of whom she sees as her parental figures.