Temptation

-17-

            "I'm not gay." I wanted it to come out cool and confident so that I could appear collected, but instead, it came out shaky and more like a question. Andy looked up at me, his blue eyes speaking things that I didn't want to know.

"I know," He said as I shifted my eyes away from him.

"I'm not gay," I said again, needing to convince both him and myself.

"Okay." He was still unfazed, and for some reason, this bothered me. We were on the couch together – I was sitting criss-cross and Andy was laying with his legs hanging over the edge and his head resting by my feet, but I got up now, self-consciously scratching my arm.

He just watched me silently until I yelled out, "Just tell me what you really think!" Maybe it was because of how much I'd been thinking about it lately, but living a lie seemed unbearable now. I wanted so desperately for my words to be the truth, and for everybody else to believe them wholly and truly. Andy, watching me carefully and noting that I was upset, pushed himself up into a sitting position so our eye contact could be direct.

"I think that what you feel is up to you, and nobody else. So what you believe, I believe to be the truth." His words made me want to cry into his arms, but I remained steady.

"Okay. Because I'm straight." He didn't tell me that he was too, or what I should or should not be.

"Rye?" I waited for the criticism to begin, holding my body almost as if preparing to be physically attacked. "Can you stop doing that?" He asked, and I wanted to leap right out of the window.

"What do you mean?" He got up, and I flinched when he touched me, but he merely moved my arm and then stepped back again. I looked down to see the red marks – subconsciously, I'd never stopped the itching.

"You don't need to be afraid," He said, as if he'd been in a position like this before. I closed my eyes and pictured the kids surrounding me on the playgroud.

"The world doesn't like people like me," I admitted hesitantly.

"That's the wrong way to look at it. Because the world, it's just out here providing us with ways to live, yanno? It's the people in it who suck." When I looked at him, he was smiling with the cleverness of the quip he'd just made, and I let out a little chuckle, just for his sake.

"But I'm not gay," I said decisively, taking his hand.

"No, of course not." His lips touched my cheek. "You're the straightest guy I know. Anyways, are you ready for the next dare?" He changed the subject quickly. I could've overanalyzed that, and maybe I would later, but instead of agonizing over it now, I went along with it, grateful for the subject change.

He grabbed his book and we sat side by side on his bed. He flipped to dare #8, careful not to show me any of the pages after it. "Call an unknown number and tell that person you know where the Chamber of Secrets is." A sloppily cut out picture of Harry Potter was posted beside it.

"I like the reference," I grinned. We were both massive geeks for the series.

"I thought you would. Would you like me to paint the lightning scar to get you more into character?" I thought about it for a moment before shuddering.

"Knowing you, you'd probably draw it on with a Sharpie, so I'm going to have to pass on that."

"Aw, come on." He pouted. "You know I wouldn't do that. You're no fun." I set my phone down for a moment to glare at him.

"Do I? Do I really know? Don't think I've forgotten you teasing me about a needing a clean toilet brush for a future dare..." I looked at the toilet brush, still titled against the wall as if it was taunting me. The longer we went without returning it, the more awkward the thought of doing so became. I had a feeling that it was simply a part of the flat now.

"Ah, don't mind that." Andy waved his hand, motioning for me to forget about it. "You think too much. Just live." I turned away from him, fingers hovering over the numbers on my phone.

"Did I ask for criticism? Because I don't recall doing so. Now hush up while I make this call." Decisively, I let my fingers dance across the keyboard whilst Andy scrambled to get his own phone to film what would surely be my humiliation. I held my breath while the phone rang and I waited for the number to pick up. It rang once, twice, three times...And then hung up.

"It was a no go," I reported to Andy.

"Try another one," He egged me on. I did another keyboard smash and hoped that this one would be successful. I wondered how many rejected calls in a row Andy would make me do before he gave up...But this one picked up almost right away.

"Hello, this is Little Sea Pizza. How can we help you today?" I covered the microphone excitedly.

"It's a pizza place," I whispered to Andy.

"Go on," He smiled, trying to stifle a giggle.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end questioned.

"Um, hi." I said, making my voice high pitched to add to the humor of the situation. "I was just calling to say..." I lowered my voice to a hushed tone, as if I was letting them in on a secret. I remembered halfway through to put it on speakerphone and quickly fumbled to do so, nearly slipping up and ending the call instead. "I know where the Chamber of Secrets is."

"Really?" The voice asked. "Where is it?" I snuck a peek at Andy, who appeared to be close to losing it. I had to work to push back my own laugh.

"Um, I can't tell you that, sir. It is top secret information." My voice broke at the end. Andy let out a little squeak, tears of laughter forming in his eyes.

"Oh." The voice sounded dejected. "Would a pizza help?" I was finding it increasingly difficult to hold back my own laughter as Andy walked off, giggling but still trying to film.

"Yeah, if it's really good. Can we get a large cheese, please?"

"Yeah, of course. That'll be five ninety nine. Pick up or delivery."

"Delivery, please." My voice strained as I tried to maintain the high pitch whilst still fighting against laughter.

"Okay, thanks, I'll just need the address." I recited it to him, finally ending the call and allowing myself to succumb to the happy giggles. It was hard to feel bad or insecure in a moment like this.

Maybe, if I could somehow push the romantic feelings aside for good, the dares could help me get through it. Nothing changed my mood quite like they did. Maybe Andy'd had the right idea all along.

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dedicated to my favorite birthday girl, aranja