Temptation

-46-

           

Mikey didn't seem all that happy that, not even an hour into the party, I was begging him to leave to take me on a three and a half hour ride to Manchester. In fact, the look on his face told me that he thought I was crazy and drunk and that he wished I would stop embarrassing him in front of his friends. By all means, he was probably right, but it truly didn't feel that way – If anything, I felt more sober and clear minded than I had when the night had begun. The confrontation with Sophie – And just how close we'd gotten to messing around, to driving Andy and I even further apart – Had shaken me into reality. As far as I knew, she hadn't left the bedroom yet, and I wanted to be long gone before she did.

            "If you don't drive me, I'll drive myself," I stated, knowing that the reckless proclamation would kick start Mikey's mum mode into action.

            "You don't have the keys," He stated, a little too smart for his own good.  

            "I can just jump it," I said, sensing that I was rapidly losing ground here.

            "You don't know how to," He combatted, shooting his friends a sorry smile as he dealt with me. I didn't care what they thought, didn't care about anything other than getting to Andy.       

            "Please," I murmured, and maybe he heard the desperation in my voice and saw that I wasn't joking around, because he finally gave in, grabbing my wrist and leading me around the groups of mingling people and out into the cool night air. He didn't speak again until we were already in the car, and he had checked to make sure that I was buckled in tightly enough. Even then, it was only to threaten that I better not throw up in his car.

            I watched him as he drove, his eyes focused on the road but his mind clearly elsewhere. He drummed the tips of his fingers on the steering wheel, and, without even consciously deciding to do so, I pictured Andy in his place as he drove us around on our self-proclaimed day off in the middle of the week. Like everything that he did, that outing had had a deeper purpose, but I hadn't known it then. He'd confided in me that he'd done it because he could see that I was stressed, and conflicted about everything that we'd been doing. He wanted to grant me some temporary peace of mind, so I could forget the circumstances that I was under, and just be free to be myself.

            I've never meant to hurt you. I would never do that, never want that. His words echoed in my head, and my stomach hurt with what I'd put him through – What I'd put all of them through, really. They'd given me so much time and patience and encouragement when I needed it the most, and I'd never even thought to thank them properly, what with how self-absorbed I'd been in the past month. Worst of all, there was nobody to really blame but myself.

            "I'm sorry," I said, and I didn't just mean for right now – It was for everything. How I'd put Sophie above them all, how I distanced myself from him instead of letting him help, how I hadn't asked him about his problems in Lord knows how long.

            "It's fine, I guess. It's just that it's 2am, and you're drunk, and I really hope that you know what you're doing." Mikey, unaware of it, focused on our current situation.

            "I dunno if I do," I sighed. "I don't really care."

            "Yeah, well, I do," He said, a little more sharply than I expected. "I know that love clouds your brain or whatever, but there's a lot at risk here, Rye. A lot. We've got the band to think about, for one."

            It took me a moment to even realize what he was talking about, forgetting that we weren't sharing the same wavelength, but, when I did, I felt even shittier about it – Even in realizing that I had wronged him, I still continued to. He brought up a good point, too – How whatever happened could directly affect the fate of the band. How that made it even more honorable that the others had accepted my relationship with Andy so easily.

            "I think that Blair will hate that we're gay anyways," I thought out loud.

            "Yeah? So what? Then we get a new manager. But it's not just about you, Rye. Road Trip is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and I'm not ready to give it up yet. Not to mention..."

            "Not to mention what?" I felt my knees bobble with anxiety as Mikey let out a deep sigh. "Listen, Rye, you're one of my best friends in the world – Fuck that, you are my best friend, above anyone else – But you'd have to be blind to not see just how much Andy loves you. And you'd better be making me do this so you can apologize to him, 'cuz if you're not, I'll turn this car around right now." He diverted his attention from the road for a second to look at me, most likely to gage my reaction to what he had just said.

            The sad thing was, Andy and I could've been the perfect couple in any other time or place. If we hadn't gotten together so soon after Sophie and I had broken up, then maybe this wouldn't have happened at all. But now, trust issues would get to me every time.

            "But how do you know?" I hated how vulnerable my voice sounded, how exposed I was, half-drunk and merely half a heart in the middle of the night. Mikey didn't even hesitate before replying.     

            "I know it from the way that he looks at you, from the way that he talks about you, as if there's never been anyone but you. I know it from the way that he always puts you first, and from how he's never stopped texting me, asking me to fucking talk to you, to tell you that he's sorry and that he hopes you know that he loves you, because he knows you well enough to know that you'll have questioned it."

            His words painted a clear picture in my mind, one that I hadn't wanted to think about before – How Andy must've cried, too, after I hung up on him, how he'd reach up to wipe them away with the sleeves of my hoodie that he was still in, only to cry harder because it was a reminder of what he might've just lost. And it must've hurt him, to know that what he'd revealed hurt me, because, fuck, Mikey was right. Andy didn't deserve somebody who questioned his love and his intentions, but it wasn't up to me to change his heart. When we got there, it would be Andy's choice, whatever he wanted to do with me, and I'd have to accept his decision, no matter what.       

            "Are you crying?" Mikey's voice was softer now, and, when I reached up to touch my cheek and found it slick, I discovered that I was.

            "I'm really afraid that I've messed this whole thing up," I confessed. He laughed a little bit, shaking his head.

            "Trust me, when it comes to Andy, I don't think you ever could." He reached out to rest a hand on my thigh. "It'll be okay." And I could only hope that he was right.

--

Hey all! Sorry for going so long without an update.

So, I've got some good news and some bad news.

The good news: I have two more updates of Tempation ready after this one!

The bad news: After that, Temptation will be over. I've finished writing it, and (hopefully) yous will like the ending as much as I do. It feels weird that it's 'over' now, but it shall live on a little longer, until I've finished posting it completely.

Thank you for your continued love & support on this story. xx