Leah and Trent

Chapter Thirty-two

January 6 2017 - Friday

~

Trent

(Song: Airbag by Tablo ft. Naul)

I stayed in bed all day, not once thinking about going to school. I didn't want to run the risk of seeing any familiar faces. I just wanted to be alone in silence and in peace, even though my thoughts haunted me.

I still couldn't get over how Melanie said I was selfish and how that was the reason why she didn't want to be with me. It was last school year when she abruptly broke up with me in the school cafeteria while we were in the middle of a conversation. She just snapped and ended what we had.

All the loves that I ever had were short lived. It made me question if love was ever meant to be long term. I read those stories about couples that lived together and died together, like in the movies. But how real was that, actually? If love like that was real, why didn't it come to those who wanted it? I wanted it. I wanted it more than I wanted to breathe. But it was more allusive for me than trying to catch a butterfly.

Leah was a beautiful girl, even if she was dating somebody else. Even if the image of her and him was burned in my brain, I still wanted to be with her. But the way things were, it was probably never meant to be. The way things were, I was probably doomed to die not knowing true love. Not knowing what it was like to connect with someone in such a truly beautiful way.

The best thing in life was love. Having someone care about you. Being close and being able to trust and be vulnerable with someone was the greatest thing in the world. And I wanted that. But it was starting to seem like it was too much to ask for.

"Trent," my mom said through my door after knocking.

"What?" She opened the door and stood in the doorway with her hand on her hip.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You'll be hungry, later."

"I won't."

". . .don't complain later about what I end up making, and. . ." She walked into my room and held out an envelope in her hand. "This came for you." I grabbed the envelope and looked at it. It said 'STATE CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION' and had the name 'Grant Sullivan' on the corner. "I didn't want to keep it from you," she said. I looked up at her, but she turned away and walked out of the room before I could say anything.

I ripped open the envelope and a folded up paper fell out. I examined the paper and read the words 'State of California Visiting Questionnaire' on the top corner in small letters. It was a fill-out sheet, asking for my name and information.

I never thought that my father would contact me. Ever since I was a kid, I thought that I'd go my entire life without even seeing him in person. And now the opportunity to meet him was right in my hands.

I looked over at the piece of paper that sat on my night stand. I reached over then held the paper in my fingertips above my head. The letters popped off the paper. The words were written with such precision. It was only a list of books, but it looked like a work of art. Art was meant to be appreciated. Just like love was.

(Song: Do You Feel It? by Chaos Chaos)