No One Will Know (PUBLISHED)

VI. Dura lex sed lex

VI. Dura lex sed lex

"I can," I foolishly said, even though I knew myself that reading about that would break me in ways I couldn't even imagine.

Hearing about it would be devastating.

But to experience it the way Molly did? It would destroy me.

In some ways... I understood why she gave up. Just like that.

"Fine," she said. "Suit yourself. I had nightmares myself when I read that. Hindi ko pa siya kilala niyan. Pano ka pa kaya?" she continued, while handing over the laptop.

Unti-unting lumalim ang paghinga ko.

Ito na ba 'yun?

'Yung dahilan kung bakit bumalik ako dito? Para malaman kung ano ang nangyari sa kanya? Para malaman kung sino ang may kasalanan?

(h) I was made to sit down. For a few minutes, I think. I really couldn't remember. My head was still aching from what they made me drink.

(i) After a while, I heard voices again. They were coming from another room. The voices were muffled. Some people were laughing; they sounded drunk. There was a girl... I heard her crying.

(j) Then shouting. Again. And crying. Again. Then it just stopped.

Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.

Wala pang nangyayari, pero parang tatakasan na ako ng bait anumang segundo. Pamela was just looking at me, probably thinking how foolish I was to still continue reading. But I knew I needed to read this—to know the kind of evil I was playing with.

To draw strength to continue seeking justice.

(k) Then someone whispered near my ear, "You're next," he said.

Holy fuck.

I suddenly reached for a glass of water, and quickly finished it. Napa-hawak ako sa dibdib ko. Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko.

"Okay ka lang?" Pamela asked.

Slowly and with staggering breath, I nodded. "Y-yeah..." I replied.

"Saang banda ka na?"

"Dun sa may bumulong sa kanya," sagot ko.

"Ah... That part," she said. "Malayo ka pa pala."

My heart was still racing inside my chest. I still couldn't breathe properly. She was right; this was too much to take in one night. I didn't want to stop reading... but I wasn't sure how much more I could take without breaking down.

"This affidavit," I began, "It's too detailed. Paano'ng nakalaya si Nathan?"

Pamela smiled at little. "It's all about technicalities, Mallary. One small detail destroyed the testimony of Molly," she said.

"What detail?" tanong ko habang naka-kunot ang noo. Maybe I hadn't noticed that detail because I was too busy fearing for Molly's inevitable fate.

"Letter h," she said. "Nathan's lawyers argued that Molly was probably too smashed to even remember anything."

"That's crazy!" sigaw ko. "I know Molly. Hindi siya umiinom!"

Pamela looked at me like she pitied me. "They showed videos, Mall. That night, at the party, there was a video of Molly looking pretty trashed. The defense also argued that since Molly was drunk... and probably some drugs were involved, her testimonies shouldn't be considered credible."

What.

The.

Fuck.

"Sino'ng matinong babae ang magsasabi na na-rape siya? Just for fucking fun?" I said through gritted teeth. Did they think Molly was fabricating all those details? To lie that she was raped?