Sorry for the week long break. If you couldn't tell by my last entries, I got knocked out by a wave of depression. I just had no motivation to keep writing these entries. Plus, I feel like I one even hardly reads them. I seek validation, so the constant lack of comments and votes sort of get to my head. It makes me feel like I'm boring, but I try to be fun.
I guess I'll update you guys a bit on what's going on. Friday I went to homecoming with my friend Mackenzie. It was pretty nice, and I was introduced to some of her friends. We left after half time because it was absolutely freezing. We went to IHOP and ate after that. I got some hot chocolate and a breakfast platter. I had a pretty good time. We went with a mutual friend, Jacob, and his girlfriend. I honestly got really jealous over how cute they were together. I wish I had a relationship like the one they have. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so constantly lonely.
I also went to an improv show Jacob was in last night. Mackenzie took me. She's really trying to get me out of the house. It was a lot of fun and I had some good laughs. I'm already being invited to the next one despite it being all the way in February.
I also am planning on getting my license this Friday. I'm kind of nervous for it, but I think I'll do well. I'm just stressed. I've been stressing about a lot over the past week. I trying to get my senior project done, and I'm way behind because of my stay in the hospital. I actually just got done presenting what I had so far, and it was horrible. I talked really fast and was practically shaking. My AP told me I should tell my story during the presentation, and even though that's what I originally wanted to do, it scares me. It means I'm going to have to be really vulnerable to people. Hell, I might even share the fact that I do this diary. That's even scarier. It's not so scary when it's just people online reading it. People I know? Now that's a scary thought.
Anyways it's pajama day and I'm wearing my Link pajamas. They're pretty comfy, but I'm in a lot of physical pain. I've had a crick in my neck for the last three days, and I've tried basically everything. It almost feels as bad as when I tore the tendons in my shoulder. I hope I didn't mess up my shoulder again.
I only have German class left today, and I'm praying to just go in the hall with the student teacher. I don't feel like doing any work. I'm still depressed and just feel like shutting down. Maybe I'll cook spätzle when I get home. That sounds like it'll be good. I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point.
Oh and I started my YouTube channel up again. My username is JustABackgroundCharacter. I'll links video below so that you can watch if you want. It's just about my stay in the hospital. Anyways thanks for reading.
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Dear Diary...
RandomI give you the key to my diary-- the key to my internal mechanisms. As of today, I will make an entry every day detailing my life. I can't tell you why I want to share, but I do. I think some things need to be shared to destroy the stigma around the...
