Dear Diary...

Friday, October 6th, 8:07pm

After I was released from inpatient, I started PHP. That stands for partial hospitalization program. For six weeks I took part in this program, and in that time I was able to complete my entire years worth of senior English.

My first day of PHP my anxiety was extremely high. Now, every day we have activity led by Mr. Mike. Well, that particular day, we were playing charades. My very first word was "pig". I got about as far as getting on my knees before I broke down crying on the floor. Mr. Mike laughed, assuming I was laughing, up until the point that someone else said I was crying. It was rather embarrassing but I survived. That was probably the worst moment for me, but everything went uphill from there.

In the mornings, I had therapy. After that, lunch, then activity, then school, then one last group. The routine was a pretty solid one, and I especially enjoyed when we had art therapy on Thursdays. My first Thursday I made a collage of pictures of birds, and it was amazing. I had such a good time.

During the time that I was there, I made good friends with a guy named Tayton. We were there in basically the same timeframe, although he discharged sometime after me. It was quite sad seeing people come and go from the program. At least I had one constant friend.

A couple weeks into the program though, I actually had a both pleasant and terrible surprise. Vyctoria showed up. Apparently after being discharged, she returned to school for a week. After that week, she had a breakdown and was sent back to inpatient. This time, she went to PHP afterwards. I was disappointed because that meant she hadn't gotten better, but at the same time I was happy to see her seeing as I missed her so much. She even gave me a friendship bracelet at one point, which I wear daily. Maybe sometime we can hang out once she gets her phone back. Anyways, more stories tomorrow.

Today was rather easy going. I caught up on Japanese and German, then got up to date on my senior project. I'm basically completely caught up to where everyone else is in school currently. After lunch, I had German. Instead of being with my typical teacher, I was with an assistant. I can't spell his name for the life of me seeing as I've never seen it written, so I'll just call him Herr which is the equivalent of Mr in German.

Herr turned out to be really personable. Before today, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about him. The other girl, Shallon and I, mainly just talked eith him rather than doing work. We discussed mental health, the faults in the school system, college, food, etc. He actually gave me some really valuable advice on what I should do about college. He even advised me as to what I should major in seeing as I love languages so much.

After German, I walked home. It took me quite some time seeing as it was freakishly hot outside. But what else is new in Texas? Once home, I crashed like normal. I'm not sure why I've been so tired lately. I woke up to my mom coming in my room and discussing my day with me.

We had pizza for dinner, and now I'm watching Beauty and the Beast. I love musicals. Don't you? Anyways I'm going to go back to watching my movie. Hope you guys enjoyed this installment of my diary :) I'll update you all tomorrow.