Sorry for not writing daily. It's hard to find motivation for this kind of thing. All I want to do is sleep. My mental state is going to pot honestly. I'm miserable and all these self deprecating comments are bouncing around in my head. I'm trapped in the past, listening to things people have said about me on loop. It's unhealthy but I can't snap out of it. I just feel like a waste of space. I'm pretty numb, just listening to all the negativity going on inside my mind. I can't help but agree with all of the comments being made about me. I'm useless, unlovable, worthless, stupid, etc.
I'm trying to think of positive things. I opened my Christmas presents early and I got a cool new laptop that can be turned into a tablet. It's really high end. I'm thankful for it but I can't bring myself to happiness. I'm too numb for that. It's hard to even be appreciative. It's hard to have any emotion period.
I slept until 12 today. I've only been awake an hour but I think I'm going back to sleep. At least I can't hurt in my sleep... Except for the nightmares I have on a daily basis.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary...
RandomI give you the key to my diary-- the key to my internal mechanisms. As of today, I will make an entry every day detailing my life. I can't tell you why I want to share, but I do. I think some things need to be shared to destroy the stigma around the...
