Today I had a full on mental breakdown, but we'll get to that. At first my day was pretty good. In my last class period I just hang out in the library, and our culinary students were doing a catering event. Once it was over, I got to eat some of the food because there were lots of leftovers. I had some sopapilla cheesecake, which is one of my favorite desserts. After that, I walked home and my old best friend's mom saw me. She picked me up and drove me home so I didn't have to take he entire two and a half mile trek. Things were good up until then.
When I got home, my OCD started kicking in. My brain insisted that someone was going to break into the house and murder me. I kept having to check all the locks, and honestly I was freaking myself out. After that, I made some regrettable choices but I don't intend to discuss them. This is what led me to a breakdown. I was talking to my friend and lost all motivation for anything. He told me I could do it, but I insisted I couldn't. I began to ramble about all my self hatred and how I feel worthless. I feel like I'm only valued for my looks, because that's all I ever really get validation from. He listened and reassured me, saying I was talented and worth a lot. I ended up crying myself to sleep after that. I'm feeling kind of better now, although I was really suicidal there for a bit.
Anyways that's all for now.
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Dear Diary...
RandomI give you the key to my diary-- the key to my internal mechanisms. As of today, I will make an entry every day detailing my life. I can't tell you why I want to share, but I do. I think some things need to be shared to destroy the stigma around the...
