I didn't just think he was different. I knew he was different. I knew in the way he looked at me like no one ever had before. I knew in the way he held me like I was the most important thing in the world to him. I knew in the way he showed me not using his words, but his actions, that he loved me. Really, truly loved me.
I knew I loved him. I loved him like I've never loved anyone before. How did I know that? Because I could clearly picture a future with him. And that's really special to me, because I've never had that with anyone else before, ever. Hell, most times I can't even invision myself living that long. But with him, I knew things were different. He made me crave things I'd never thought about before, like a life where I grow old and actually live. He was the first amazing thing that ever happened to me. Everyone could clearly see it. For months, people would point out how he looked at me. He looked at me with a fiery passion in his eyes that I'd never seen before. People told us we were perfect. My friends told me how they'd never seen me happier than I was when I was with you. Now, I barely smile. I've stopped eating, because the thought of it makes me sick. I don't do anything that I would do with you, because I have memories doing everything with you, from waking up in the morning to doing chores to going for walks. So I don't do anything anymore. I lay around and wait for you to come back to me like you promised you would. That's all my life ever has been. Waiting. For the idea of a paradise quickly fading in the early moonlight. You're all I've ever wanted. And all I'll never have again.
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realities of a broken soul | poetry
PoetryA collection of my private, most cherished poems. authors note: certain poems talk in relation to self harm or depression, including mentions of suicide. such poems are marked with an "(x)" in the chapter title.
