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~ The Awakening

Reviewer: BloodyTurtle

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The Awakening

By: Kay_Ro

Atlantis was the first city to sink. Hundreds followed, millions of people drowned. It seemed as if half the world was underwater. 

Among the survivors was Ayesha Akhdir . In a post apocalyptic world, Ayesha must navigate on her own, discovering abilities she can't explain. That is until she's no longer alone. Ayesha soon meets others who have survived, each with their own unique abilities. Before long she learns the reason she survived. Every few centuries twenty two humans are blessed with the abilities of the Major Arcana, forced to compete in a battle to death. Ayesha is the Empress. According to Matthew, The Fool, the games have been played for centuries. They are the latest Arcana reincarnations. Only one of twenty two will survive, gaining immortality as a prize. 

Can Ayesha master her powers and stay alive, even with powerful competitors like The Emperor, The Devil, or The Hierophant? Why have the charming Hanged Man, or the dark and mysterious Death taken interest in her? Terrified for her life, Ayesha leans on her allies, desperately practicing her powers. She can't struggle for long. The Beginning is nigh.

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The image itself is beautiful. It looks lovely. However, the title, quote, and author name blend into it, and it's hard to read. All three should be larger, ESPECIALLY the author name. I hardly noticed it. They need a border, or something similar, so they don't blend.

Blurb • Spaces are a bit out of place. Some are doubled, and some simply don't belong. A few commas are needed here and there. I feel like it spoils some of the story, such as why she survived. It should be a bit vaguer and maybe should focus on the first few chapters of the story.

Title • It's a little bland and overused. As I searched the name, SO MANY stories have the title. It's overused. It's in the typical "the (insert basic word)" format that too many have. It works, but it's boring.

Descriptions

I can clearly visualize the character's actions and gestures. However, the character design and setting have little descriptions most of the time. It's a little hard to imagine the characters, though I can imagine what they are doing. Some settings are well described, but others simply aren't.

Characters

From what I read, not much character development has occurred. But I only read a few chapters, and I'm sure it will come. I liked the character overall. I could tell their personalities from the dialogue and monologue. I liked Matthew in the second chapter. He was enjoyable. I liked how enthusiastic he was, and he sparked a lot of curiosity in me. He was strange but in a good way.

Plot/General Writing

I was interested in all of the happenings. It sparked a lot of curiosity. The time skips were a bit annoying and confusing, though. I realize they're building down to the first chapter, but each seems out of place. They just feel odd and don't flow well with each other. It was jumpy. 

The writing style is good. The flow of the sentences is great. The dialogue was well made, and I could clearly picture the main character's thoughts. It wasn't too fast-paced, but, after the first chapter, the time skips were confusing as I said. 

Grammar

There are slight grammatical errors here and there. After a piece of dialogue was said, multiple times a verb was used that wasn't one that could replace "said" such as chuckled. You can't really chuckle words, though you can say them while having chuckles mixed in. Numerous times, double spaces were accidentally placed. Scarcely, two words should be put together or should have a "-" between them. Once, I saw a word that ended in an "S" that was possessive and had "'s" added on. For example, multiple dogs's toy. It should be multiple dogs' toy. Bad example, but you get the point. Once, the same word was used twice in a sentence. I think it was in the first paragraph with the word "sea." The forms of "lie" were used well, but once you accidentally used "laying" instead of "lying." 

Reader Engagement

I was certainly engaged. I wished to know what was happening, and a lot of questions formed in my head. 

Overall

3.5 stars out of 5

It was a decent story. It needs some work, but it's engaging with good dialogue. I recommend this to people who enjoy stories for the dialogue and like strong female protagonists.

Good luck, lollipop!