🍬 Lollipop Reviews • Open

~Scarlet Wielder

Reviewer: BloodyTurtle

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Scarlet Wielder

By @Astoryia

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The cover is really lovely. No problems are on it whatsoever. Everything is readable, and the title is nice and large.

Blurb • The blurb is good. I found a few grammar mistakes, but they are the same mistakes in the story that I'll describe in grammar. It gets you curious for the book, and it reveals the plot and everything important, so it's good.

Title • The title fits for the book, and it's not over used. So, it's good.

Descriptions

For the most part, the descriptions were nice. I could easily picture what was described, and it blended well into the story. But I couldn't help but feel like you could've described more of the scenery and character design. I could visualize what you gave me, but you didn't give enough.

Characters

The characters seem alright. It has the strong female protagonist that many books do nowadays. I could tell she has a strong sense of responsibility, and I can tell she has some secrets about her hand or a reason she doesn't want to get rid of the power she has. But nothing seemed especially special about her. Maybe fit in a quirk or something. I personally didn't find the characters too interesting.

Plot/General Writing

The writing is good, and the vocabulary used is great. The sentences usually flow well, but there were a few instances where they were awkward. The pacing seemed a little fast in the first chapter since the character moved around a lot. For plot, I personally wasn't really interested in it. I usually love fantasy, but I dislike when they are molded with our world too greatly or with recent time. Sometimes, it works fine to have some technology. But a world with swords and armor that has cars seemed odd to me, and I would have preferred horse drawn carriages or something. And IDs instead of a crest or badge also through me off. It just doesn't feel strongly like fantasy with those things though it is. If they have cars, I assume they have strong weapons like guns, so it makes the whole armor and sword use seem as if it's obsolete. But that's my opinion. I'm sure some others like that their world is relatable. However, I try to get as far as I can from this world when I read.

Grammar

The grammar was pretty good. You didn't overuse something like many do, but plenty of mistakes were present. Usually, two sentences were made into one with a comma. Maybe use a semicolon, or you could make them two sentences. Commas were lacking in a few places, but I also found at least one unneeded one. Maybe download grammarly for basic mistakes like these. Also, a few places should be read over as I found some sentences that didn't make sense.

Reader Engagement

I honestly wasn't too engaged. The first bit didn't intrigue me greatly, and the end didn't make me want to see what would happen next. But I usually look at the story and characters themselves to be engaged, and they didn't really engage me to keep me going.

Overall

I apologize if I was harsh during this review. The story does seem to have promise. Just keep what I pointed out in mind when writing in the future if you'd like. It has definite potential. I'm sure many like fantasy with qualities of present day, but I'm simply not one of those people. I recommend this to any looking for a present day like fantasy.

3 stars out of 5

Good luck, lollipop!