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~Unleashed

Reviewer: BloodyTurtle

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Unleashed

By @Xemnas4

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The words on the cover are difficult to read at certain points because of the matching shades of white. The cover grabs the attention of the reader effectively.

Blurb • Summary professional and adequate at conveying the passage's idea. Malcolm's significance is either underexplained or the mention of him is completely unneeded. Should be a little more hooking.

Title • Usually one-word titles are frowned upon but since this is part of a series, it is fine. the word 'unleashed' usually refers to something that has been let go or out of control, but I see nothing stopping this monster from striking in the past. Another thing to note is that there could have been kills in the past so this did not come out of the blue. It couldn't hurt to mention the dormancy of the attacks until a certain event.

Descriptions
The description of the characters was fair. I feel like Malcolm's effects on Alex were a bit too much, as he was not easily disturbed by the news (The news allowing the readers the assumption that he minds his own bussiness).

The metaphors were good. I could visualize the characters and scenery.

Characters
The interaction between characters was smooth and realistic. I like how the attack was being planned out in the character's head before the intervention of his police friend.

The introduction of Zach is a great comparison to Malcolm that was made. This is a nice method to show what Alex has to deal with.

I like how brief the intro to Zach was. It gives the reader sympathy for the main character and gives him an unfavourable view.

I like how some of Alex's traits are revealed right off of the bat, giving us a peek into his personality.

The prologue put some details into the wrong things. It describes what type of car and, though a character having personality is good, a bit too much for a temporary character. She is a witty character who has compassion, and she can even control her temper, these are usually the traits of the main character, these make her a little too favourable to be killed off. The character of this chapter should have been a more relatable character or poor character, one that the readers can have more sympathy for (But adding the dead dog was a nice touch).

Plot/General Writing

Keep in mind the explanation of the prologue.

In general, the writing fits well and was smooth to read. The pacing was a little too slow in my opinion. None of the sentences were awkward to read.

Grammar

No noticeable mistakes were made, though the passive voice was used a couple of times.

Reader Engagement
Makes the reader feel for the characters and their situations.

Good examples include: Dead dog, protectiveness of friend, agitation in the prologue.

Overall

3.5 stars out of 5

This was good for the first that you have written of this type.

Remember to think about the audience when you are writing, and try to leave subtle hints that will make the readers think about things and put things together on their own. Though this is not romance, I would suggest not skipping out on developing relationships with other characters for fear of drifting too far.

Good luck, lollipop!