~Colorful Temptations

55 4 2

by LollipopHQ

by LollipopHQ

Reviewer: weasleyqueen-

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Colorful Temptations

By GhostsInsideOfMyBed

________

She's complicated, half employed and screwed.He's passive aggressive, hot-blooded and lonely. Under awfully humiliating circumstances, they're caught in each other's crosshairs and stay that way.

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's good at relaying that the temptation is love or something but this is one of the least colorful covers I've ever seen and it's called "Colorful temptations." That probably isn't what you meant in the title but either way, I'd advise you to add more color to it.

Blurb • It's mildly intriguing. But as I've said multiple times in other reviews, it sounds cliche. However I liked the last line where it said "Under awfully humiliating circumstances". That makes me want to find out how people with those personalities somehow get caught in an awkward situation together.

Title • The titles pretty good. It's better than "Love" or something like that but it could be a little more creative. Try to convey what the title is talking about soon in the book or it could be confusing to some.

Descriptions

Your descriptions are great! Even just in the prologue, you added a lot of detail and I really like that. It also is descriptive just not as much, in the first chapter. Keep it up!

Characters

All of the introduced characters are good so far. I'm actually pretty impressed. In one chapter, you gave some of the backstory behind the relationships and described how Octavio was feeling. You left a somewhat mysteriousness about Mia which I like. However I still don't know what and/or who you're talking about in the title. It's a little confusing.

Plot/General Writing

The plot kind of skyrocketed from the beginning. It went from a relationship, to someone cheating on their boyfriend with a girl. That was a crazy plot twist and I loved it! It made me think about if Octavio still likes Mia or not. But it may have escalated a little too quickly for my taste. It may just be me though.

Grammar

You're grammar is good. There are a few mistakes here and there but it's okay. The paragraph breaks are being made in the right places. There isn't anything that would make people stop reading because of it.

Reader Engagement

This is alright. It's good that you ask for predictions because it prompts readers to think about it and if they get excited they'll comment. I'm not sure if I would encourage people to point out grammatical errors. Some people can jump on that bandwagon really quickly and it may be a little annoying with how picky some people are. I would recommend an editor for that.

Overall

4 stars out of 5

You're book captured my attention even starting with the prologue. It's good so far and with a few tiny changes it can soar above and beyond. I hope you found this helpful and message me through pm if you have any extra questions.

Good luck, lollipop!