🍬 Lollipop Reviews • Open

~Tag, You're It

Reviewer: BloodyTurtle

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Tag, You're It

By @RecklessTyler

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The cover looks nice and fits with the story. My only recommendation is to make the author name slightly bigger.

Blurb • The blurb sounds good and tells the reader the basics of the story. I noticed only one or two grammatical errors when reading it.

Title • The title works. It's a good length, and the name fits the story well.

Descriptions

The descriptions are lacking. Some things were mentioned for setting, but not much. Not enough to give a good image to the reader. I recommend you add more detail. The character design is pretty good, but I also recommend you describe it a little more too, as I could only picture some people.

Characters

So, I already mentioned character design. The emotions of the characters were well fleshed out in the terrified scenes, but I feel like they weren't too strong when that wasn't happening. In the first chapter where the mom laughed at the main for hiding in a dumpster, I thought it came out of nowhere. I didn't get any indication she didn't care, and I thought the mc would be harangued. Also, I don't really understand motives in the story, but that may make sense since I only read the first few chapters.

Plot/General Writing

The pacing is good for the story. It isn't too fast or slow. The writing usually flows well. The plot itself is fine. Playing a game or dying is a little cliche. But it's okay of you use it creatively. The story seems a but cliche with the stereotypical setting for horror and the design of the ghost thing, but that's my opinion. The story is hashed out nicely, so that's good.

Grammar

The grammar is decent. I picked out a handful of mistakes each chapter. It seems like you use the right form of "lie" occasionally, but you also mess it up frequently. You might want to check that out. Most of the mistakes were commas or sentences that didn't work with the punctuation used, so I recommend you either get an editor off Wattpad or download grammarly, as it works decently for basic mistakes.

Reader Engagement

I was engaged while reading. The ends got you hooked and the horror scenes kept you reading. The first chapter, which is the most important to hook, was a little bland though. It didn't especially interest me.

Overall

The story is pretty good. It definitely has potential. Just take my critique into account and maybe fix some of what I pointed out.

4 stars out of 5

Good luck, lollipop!