Gwendolyn

Chapter 20 : Scars

Gwen's POV :

I had been discharged from the hospital a few days ago. I was feeling better, though I was having nightmares. I think my whole life has been preperation for this, as fucked up as that sounds.. I remembered everything that had happened. How Arch said he 'loved' me for years. How he watched me and stalked me. After he took me, He did everything he had wanted to for all of those years. It started slow, him pretending we were dating. THen him making his move. Getting pissed and beating me when I rejected him, branding me, and beating me until I passed out. The rest, I only know from doctor's examination. I've been trying to get through it, mentally, and not think about what they told me. What he did while \\\\\ was unconcious..

Tonight, we had our first show after the kidnapping. By now, my story was on every news channel and my face plastered on every screen. Everyone new, but they still were buying out tickets and lined up outside the door. Why would anyone want to see me? I stared into the mirror in the small bathroom on our bus, studying the details of my face.

"Hey," Jake knocked on the door, peaking his head in.

I dropped my eyeliner in surprise. I had zoned out so far, I forgot what I was doing. I was dressing in a new, black dress. It was form fitting with purple skulls all over it. My fishnet stockings were twisted, so they didn't sit right in the crotch. My boots were sitting on the floor, and my face was barely made up.

"Are you alright?" He looked my up and down.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I twisted the wholy tights into place. I caught a glimpse of my arm in the mirror and froze. "Fine." I whispered. I shook my head and dug through my hair shit. I found a red bandana, and I tied it around my forearm. "Perfect." I went back to putting on my makeup.

"Do you need anything?" Jake was being so kind to me. But I didn't know what to give him. So much had happened. And I really felt okay. But things were still weird, and he was always feeling guilty. We haven't totally talked about it yet, either.

"No. I just need to get ready. I've only got... 20 minutes." I looked at my phone. Shit. I threw my hair in a bun and slipped into my boots. "Thank you for checking on me." I kissed Jake on the cheek and ran out of the bus and to the right wing behind the stage.

Everyone else from my band was there already. They smiled when they saw me.
"Hey honey!" Alex wrapped me up into one of her amazing hugs. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" She put me at arms length, studying my face.
"Yeah. I have to be. I want to move on. And this is the only way I can do it. I need to keep playing music, or I think I might die." I gave a half hearted smile. It was true, though. She pulled me back into a hug. Jesse, Carl, and Mark (her manager, drummer, and guitarist. I know they haven't been mentioned in a while) joined in.

"You know we love you, right?" Carl squeezed my hand.

"I know." I smiled.

"And we'd do anything for you," Mark added with a huge, cheesy, very Mark-ish grin. These fuckers were my family. And they helped save my life.

"You're going to make me cry..." I laughed, holding back tears. I felt so much love right there. I was ready.

The playlist had stopped and the lights dimmed, signaling time for the show to start. The crowd roared and started chanting out name. We ran on stage. I faced backwards, per my usual starting position. The lights came on. The crowd screamed. I looked back at Carl on his kit. But he looked surprised. "Oh my god..." he mouthed. I was confused, but it's not like he'd hear me if I asked.

"Who's ready to fucking rock??" I screamed. The crowd roared once again. I whipped around, into the wave of sound. What I saw took the very air right from my lungs. The audience was filled with signs for... for me. There were so many.. Things from 'We love you, Gwen,' 'The Fight Goes on,' and 'Still Out Here,' to song lyrics and things I had said and written about being strong and fighting. I clutched my heart and dropped to my knees.