foreign space - poetry&prose

you were beautiful

and here i tear,
tear out my skin
and scratch at the scars,
hoping they open up

here i push everyone away,
tear at our strings and bonds
and act that i do not care,
when have i ever?

i was always going to be
alone.
just go, go away,
you're always to blame.
what's worse?
it's true.

it's easy to judge me.
find me and you'll find
the most unappealing qualities
that the human race has
evolved into,
the one that is selfish and irrational,
and stubborn.

turn away from me,
do i care anymore?
i'm used to people leaving

i am screaming and
slamming my fists
into walls.
don't mind me!
i'm just being overemotional.

i am trying,
i'm improving,
but no, don't be proud of it.
don't be humble either,
you have no achievements
to be humble about.

you are just like the scum
that roam on the streets,
the ones people
despise and look down on.
look down then!
it has always been like this
and always will.

the little boy inside of me that
tries to reach out?
simply hoping for good friends
and a proud family?
i'll extinguish it,
to stop hurting and bringing
its hopes down.
they've always known the truth anyway.

no explanations,
i am simply selfish and
a bad person.

(i swear i swear that i'm a good kid, yeah that's a good one!)

run away from me,
stop me from trying.

- been kicked out of every place

171104

p.s. come back come back please