foreign space - poetry&prose

tragedy // serendipity

i think i haven't fully learned to let go of you yet.
and yet a simple break feels like a goodbye.
i've made another playlist for you,
don't know if i want you to listen to is yet.
i'm afraid to listen to the songs that made me think of you before.
because before, we used to call each other with stupid thoughts (i don't want to call it that) running through our heads, talking about anything we wanted.
and through our whispered "i love you"s while we anticipated gaunt images of a horror game date,
i thought i was home
so where is home now?
to be honest, i don't know why i loved you so much.
maybe you were just plain fun, or maybe i found you so intriguing, so unconventionally beautiful.
and how, really, you just expressed differently than the rest of us, and, i don't know,
that made you special to me. a little bit of a challenge that i was too eager to get caught up in -
(you were everything i wasn't and i was everything you weren't.),
i don't know why i still love you now.
i don't know why i miss you -
or maybe miss the days where i thought that one day,
things wouldn't look so bleak (or like the end)
(if we could start over, act like we never knew each other, act like we weren't limited, would you want to?

skylar.

its hard to write your name sometimes)

- funny i can write about you most
when i'm closest to losing you

171210