foreign space - poetry&prose

seulrene ○ be right back

"where are we going?" she asks.

seulgi doesn't answer and continues walking along the path. it's early morning, and the sun hasn't fully risen yet, and the trees looking over them don't help either. but she's determined, determined to do this, certain to finish this.

the woman behind her follows, unquestioning. seulgi finds that silence unbearable - it's just another thing that she would've never done.

finally, the trees clear, and they're greeted by an open view of morning sky and autumn chill. the brunette woman walks up to the cliff and stops at the edge, looking down at the sea beyond them.

she glances to her left and sees her smiling at the sight. the other woman looks back at her, still grinning, and laughs a little. "this is the place you told me about, isn't it? the one where the lovers jump.

"no, don't die!" she jokes, and seulgi reprimands herself for almost laughing along. she needs to focus. not get caught up in stupid memories of sitting down and drinking gatorade with the girl in front of her. the girl she once used to love.

she looks back to the sea, throat tightening. "jump."

irene blinks, her face blank. seulgi knows it's because she's never experienced shock, and she hasn't seen - doesn't know - how she's supposed to act shocked. the strain and stress of muscles are not in her code yet, a stupid piece of numbers that imitate her. "what?"

"i said jump." seulgi repeats, steadily, clearly. "you'd say you'd do anything i say, right? i told you to jump."

irene shrugs. "okay, if you're really sure," and steps forward, feet on the edge.

"see, irene wouldn't have done that," seulgi interrupts. "irene- joohyun wouldn't have just jumped. she'd be scared, she'd ask what was going on. she'd cry, she'd beg- she wouldn't just- just do everything single thing i say! she had a mind of her own."

because she knew joohyun. and joohyun wasn't one to just go along with everything. she wasn't loud, but she made her opinion clear and her thoughts said. not confused, not quiet and reserved like the person - no, artificial intelligence in front of her.

"she-" seulgi is stumbling over her words now, fists clenched. describing joohyun was just remembering her, and she was: joohyun when they first met, glasses on and a slight smirk on her face, joohyun when she took seulgi to dinner, her laugh whenever seulgi made a comment about the food, joohyun pulling her in by the waist and smiling at the way seulgi would be a blushing mess, joohyun, joohyun, joohyun.

joohyun when seulgi proposes, shock evident on her face. eyebrows raised and mouth slightly open. joohyun kissing seulgi when they were announced wives, joohyun waiting on the car, scrolling through her phone when seulgi opened the car door, joohyun commenting how much she hated "how deep is your love" ("seriously, beegees have much better songs, this is like, the bottom of the ladder.") joohyun pouting when seulgi rolled her eyes, telling her to return the van herself.

joohyun, and the silence when seulgi received the news of the car crash.

(how she had worried for so many hours, feeling like she couldn't breathe until joohyun would open the door all tired, the sobs as she called her brother. and all for silence. no slight remarks. no laughs. no kiss on the cheek and reassuring hugs and the smell of fabric softener.)

silence, and absence.

but she's in front of her, isn't she? irene, who spoke the same way she did, who made the same insults, who sounded and looked so much like the girl she loved.

but irene couldn't even remember where they had went before, she couldn't remember a single date, she liked beegees, she didn't treat seulgi the same, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she couldn't bleed-