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i drew on the bus today.
i don't really know who i drew - but he was of sunshine, and he was bright, and he was smiling. he was grinning.
"show you what i got," he told me. and that's what i told everyone.
show you what i got.
"you already have the answers," the little voice in my ears says. and i know that now - if i was once the worst person in the world, surely i can be the best. there's more you gain when you lose everything.
late nights staying up doing homework. late nights convincing myself there would be better days after this.
those days have come. i don't know about the results. i don't know if i really put in my best effort. but i can tell you i tried hard to run from the person i was. and in those days, i found who i could be.
i apologised to my mother last week when i was angry. it was the first time i ever did since i was thirteen. it felt like a breath of fresh air.
the clouds were a little stormy and gray today. but that's okay, i believe they'll clear up. if not, that's okay too - i will embrace the storm, dance in the rain, sing in the showers.
i will feel the wet on my face, and i will smile.
like i said, i already have the answers. because i am a galaxy, a supernova, I am of multitudes and enigmas and miracles you never even knew of.
because i don't need to show you now. now, i know. and that's for myself to keep and not for you to dictate.
because when i show you what i got? you'll regret you even doubted me in the first place.
i take my baby steps onto the flower path with morning coffees, constantly asking my friends about things i will not deny myself the privilege of not knowing anymore, asking questions to teachers, apologising, realizing who i can be.
i finished the drawing on the bus. i had never been so satisfied with my drawings.
