Regret

CHAPTER 9.

DAY ONE.

Dear diary,

It's the best day ever. We had a small chat and that's all, but it really meant the whole world to me because he only talks to me once a month and the last few days he almost talks to me a lot. Plus, he came to me as a first place to talk about his break up. Who am I to make him feel better or to give him a piece of advice? He, also, started liking and comment on my posts on Facebook everytime I update one. I don't know if I have to be happy for this or to worry because everything is able to happen when something's going absolutely amazing. 

It's weird that at my 17, I find myself writing a diary. It's something I have never done before because I thought it's so ridiculous but it really worths it. You have someone or somewhere to tell about your problem and it's the only one that you are so sure that it'll never betray you. I'm writing over here for a cause. For a decision I took and I don't wanna anyone to know.

I decided that I will change. I will change everything on me from head to toes. I don't wanna be so different and so unnoticed especially from Liam. I wanna start going to clubs and to the gym as much as I can. I have already signed up to the gym but I am not attending a lot there because Liam is most of the hours and he's doing some exercise.

That's I had to say today. My decisions and what happened. I will keep writing on this diary as much as I can.

'What are you writing there?' I hear Zayn telling me. What? What is he even doing here? He supposed to be in Bradford. And how did he get in?

'Zayn?' My voice came out most as a question than an enthusiasm.

'Not happy for seeing me here? I can go, if you want' He is now about to close the door.

'Oh, no. Sit. How did you get in? Why are you even here in Lancaster?' I ask him two question at the same time.

'Are you always asking so many things at the same time?' He asks me back. Ouch. This thing must stop. 

'Yes' I say. 'But we don't answer with a question, remember?' I remind him.

'Oh, yes. Well, your mother answered the door and she actually seems like she doesn't like me. As for the why am I here, well, Niall told me that you called and I supposed that something happened. Oh, and sorry for his behavious by the way, he is not always like this. He is a cute guy' he finally stops talking.

'And you came all the way from Bradford to Lancaster just to know what happened to me?' I ask him while I'm in shock, trying to ingore his comment about Niall's behaviour.

'Yep. Strange?' he teases.

'A little bit' I'm just being honest.

'Tell me everything' he demands. I love this guy.

I told him all of what happened with Liam. He was listening to me so carefully and for a moment I felt a bit uncomfortable without knowing the reason. To stop this uncomfortable atmosphere from my side I just asked him to tell me what he was thinking of all of what happened. He told me that he might likes me because he wouldn't have any reason to mention that he likes someone else. 'It's so obvious' he tries in a way to convince me. I just can't jump into conclusions because if this isn't happening then I will be so hurt and I will only want him even more.

While we are talking about a girl he likes and he doesn't tell me her name because I know her, my phone vibrates in my back pocket of my jeans. I grab my phone and Declan's name appears on the screen and fortunately it's a text and not a call. I would have died if I had to talk with him on the phone while knowing that he might be Liam next to him.