Regret

CHAPTER 3.

I'm back from the church and for some strange reason I feel so tired instead. Having Liam on your mind isn't the easiest thing in the world. He knows very well what he does to me. I am so thankful that I won't be able to see him for a day but from the other hand I wanna see him. I really don't know what I want. Everyone's telling me that he has a girlfriend called Grace and I hate the fact that I always have to say an opinion on it because it really hurts. But when I see him with her for some strange reason I feel so okay with that even though deep inside of me I know that I wanna be in her place.

Just called Ella so we can go out. I did my homework earlier so I am free all evening. I will most probably go to the place that Liam goes with his girlfriend or friends. It feels so odd to support this relationship, really. Some other girl, if she was me, she would have punched her face out of earth, but now, I am calm. I just support his happiness even though it won't last for a long time.

I'm waiting for Ella 10 mimutes now. I see her from my window heading to the front door of the house. She rings the bell and in seconds I am downstairs and I answer her.

'Ella. Come in' I tell her waving my hand to the house.

'How are you? I heard you a bit upset or something?' she half-asks me.

Oh.

'I'm fine! Just needed some company. Well, you are here' I say and hug her.

'Haha. I am.' she smiles.

'So, what happened in Bradford? I mean, how is your friend?' I ask her.

'He is fine. He might come tomorrow. I will put him up in my house' 

'Will your mother let him in?' I ask while filling a glass of water and give it to her. She seems to be thirsty.

'It was my mother idea, actually' she explains.

Okay. What a nice mother. She trusts her. I have a mother who never trusts me and always suspects me in whatever I do. She doesn't like the kids I am hanging out or the things I do on my computer even. Actually, I do nothing. I only listen to music, I am on Facebook chatting with some friends that I see once a blue moon and I am on Twitter checking all the profiles of famous people. I bet that if she knew how to use a computer she would have done a research on what sites I visit until so late I'm staying up every night.

Ella, tells me about her friend from Bradford. His name is Zayn and he is about 18, one year older than her. She lets me know that his mother is from England but his father is from Pakistan but it's something I don't need to worry about. I can trust him, she says. Ella, also suggests me if I want to meet him any time soon in order to be convinced that he is an incredible person and not someone that many people in Bradford represent him! Stupid people.

'So, what do you think? You wanna meet him?' she finally finished the long-term self-dialogue.

'Erm, okay. I have no problem' I finally answer. Fuck. I just don't want to. Why? I don't wanna Liam see me with an another guy. I know that if he saw us he wouldn't even care but I just don't wanna.

...

'Zayn, nice to meet you' the handsome man opposite me gestures to introduce himself.

'Megan, nice to meet you too' I say back. He is so sweet.

'Ella, has told me a lot about you' he says. Omg.

'Really?' is all I can say.

'Yes! She actually started talking about how much fun she's having when she is with you and never finished telling me stories of how you spend your free time you two' he smiles rubbing his right hand with the left.