Memories Are All She Has

10.A fight

Vanessa's POV

I just finished the sandwiches Clary brought me and I feel much better. I still don't think I can walk but I can at least sit up easily and not get dizzy or faint in the process. I am just wondering why Clary went into the forest in the first place. I ask her about it and she says calmly, "I was and still am bitter that you just ditched me for your 'boyfriend'. You were the only friend I had and you just left without a word." I am completely stunned at that revelation and my eyes follow her as she leaves the room.

Then the weight of the situation hits me. I ditched my only friend for a boy and I hurt her. My heart contracts thinking about how mean I was to Clary. We are all stuck here because of me, because I was an insensitive and horrible friend to Clary. I barely notice the tears that make their way down my face and drip onto my shirt making me a damp broken mess. I feel like my whole body, mind and soul is getting sucked into a black hole, a black hole of guilt. My stomach does flips and my body shivers. I just shut my eyes and lie down on the bed. I somehow cry myself to sleep because I am so desperate to fall into the dark abyss that will take away my pain for now.  Finally get my wish and I fall asleep, regretting that one lunch break more than anything.

The next morning I try and get up and realize that I am perfectly fine, physically. My emotions are still a raging storm inside my head, but at least I can walk again. I brush my teeth and wash my face, without any thinking because if I try to think, I will feel and I feel I will break. Then I go to the kitchen to find something to eat. I get there and make an omelette for myself. I eat it glumly not minding that it tastes bland because that reflects my mood perfectly. I don't react when someone else enters because I am in no mood to talk to anyone especially not anyone else who is kidnapped. If you are wondering how I know that I am kidnapped. Well, when you wake up in a new place with your arms and legs tied to a bed, its gives you a tiny hint that you have been kidnapped. Someone sits next to me and tilts my face towards them with slender long callused fingers. My eyes widen when I recognize the golden eyed blonde I am dating. "Miss me?" He smirks. His hair is looking tousled, like he just got up which he must have. But even his gorgeous looks can't improve my mood right now.

"You wish." I say halfheartedly.

He engulfs me in a tight hug and I find myself hugging him back. He smiles at me. A real proper smile that reaches his eyes and not just a smirk. I give him a small smile back.

He says, "So you're kidnapped too huh?" I nod.

"Are you okay? That blow you took to the head was pretty hard."

"I'm fine." I say harshly. Then I realize that I shouldn't take my anger out on him. "No, really I took rest yesterday and I'm alright now," I reply getting rid of the harshness from my voice.

He seems to sense something is wrong. "What's wrong?" he asks, worry clear in his voice. I must be giving out a clear troubled vibe if he can figure out my mood even though I am trying to conceal as much as I can.

"I don't want to talk about it ," I say softly, looking back at my food not wanting to meet his intense amber gaze.

"Okay, just remember that I will be there for you when you need me. Okay?" he replies. I nod and give him a light peck on the cheek. He is not satisfied with that so he pulls my face towards him and kisses me on the lips, fiercely. I feel no sparks, no electricity, no nothing. Must be because of my bad mood. He walks out of the kitchen. I just sit there sulking until I realize that I shouldn't do this all day.

So, I go back to my room and take a shower and freshen up. I let the cool water wash all my worries for the moment and let them go down the drain along with the water. I tie my long blonde hair in a pony tail. I tug on red tights and a white shirt with red flowers at the ends. I look at my face in the mirror to see dark bags under my eyes and red rimmed eyes.