Memories Are All She Has

15.Medical report

Clary's POV

I push the door open slowly and stick my head in. I see Damon sitting on a chair with his head in his hands and his shoulders slumping with exhaustion.

"Damon, may I come in?"

He lifts his head and I notice the dark bags under his eyes and his eye lids drooping. "Huh, uh yeah sure," he replies drowsily.

I walk up to him, place my hand on his shoulder and say in a tone laced with concern, "I think you should go get some rest," and to prevent any arguments I put up my hand and add, "You do want to be perfectly awake and healthy when Vanessa wakes up right?" He nods silently, too tired to speak anymore. He gets up and walks sluggishly to the door.

"Jace, help him. Please." He understands that I need some time alone with Vanessa and leaves with Damon. Only after they leave do I steel myself to look at her. She is lying on the bed, completely still. There is a huge white bandage with a red blot, wrapped around her neck. Her skin is very pale and cold to the touch. It's like she's...dead. I place my hand on her heart and the thud thud I feel calms me to no end and pushes morbid thoughts out of my head. I release a breath I hadn't realized that I was holding.

"Vanessa I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can them listen carefully. You need to wake up because I need you to. You are my best friend and you are the only one who knows my awful curse," my heart lurches painfully in my chest just saying that word. My eyes are  stinging with unshed tears. "I need you to wake up because you're my best friend and I have no one else to confide in. I know my reason sounds selfish and hell maybe it is, but I need you to wake up please. You can't leave me too," the last few words turn into a sob and I clutch her still cold hand tightly. I squeeze it once to compose myself. I wipe away one stray tear and get up.

I walk aimlessly down the corridor for god knows how long. I am completely immersed and drowned in my thoughts. Will she wake up? What if she doesn't... No! Don't think like that, I chastise myself. She will wake up. She will wake up. I repeat that one thought to myself over and over again, clutching to it like a torch in the dark. Maybe if I say it enough number of times it will come true. She will wake up... but when? I feel a pair of hands grip my shoulders. "Woah! Clary!" I look up to see Jace, concern etched on his gorgeous face.

"Clary I got to know something from Damon...about Vanessa's... condition," he says hesitantly.

"What? Tell me!"

"Are you sure you can take it? Now?"

"Yes! Yes! Please tell me. I need to know," I reply desperately and impatiently. I know its bad news by Jace's expression but I need to know what it is.

"Okay, so here it is. Vanessa's injury was extremely severe and it's a miracle she survived but if she doesn't wake up in a week she may never wake up again. And that is Dr. Damon's medical report." I am glad for the support of Jace's strong arms on my shoulders because I don't think my legs could hold my weight up much longer. My knees start feeling wobbly, like they're made of jelly and I feel Jace's hold on me tighten imperceptibly.

I take in all that Jace just told me. Vanessa got a severe injury. But she made a miraculous recovery. But if she doesn't wake up in a week she may never wake up. Every positive thought in my head is countered with a negative one and I don't know what to do. Should I sigh in relief or sob in sorrow? Should I dwell in hope or drown in defeat? I- I don't know! I shut my eyes tight and try to calm my frazzled self. I take three slow deep breaths. Then I open my eyes to look in to mesmerising amber ones looking right back at me. I see a question in their depths. Are you okay? I nod slowly. He releases his hold on my shoulders and I miss it immediately. I miss the strength they were providing me with. I miss the warmth seeping into me.