Memories Are All She Has

29.A surprise gift

Clary's POV

Vanessa comes to Aurora's house the next morning and I smile at her, albeit a little confused. Wasn't she supposed to be at Damon's house? But even that slightly puzzled smile falls as soon as I see her face.

Her usually shining sapphire eyes, now hold a look of devastation. Her head is hung low and she looks like she's about to cry. I rush to her and sit her down on the plush white sofa.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"He- he," she takes a deep breath, swallowing hard. Then she continues, "He found the diary and got to know that I was spying on him."

As soon as she says that, I feel terrible for her. She didn't just want to save him because she wanted to be a good person, no, the truth is that she also liked him. Seeing her sling bag, I come to the conclusion that he either kicked her out or she left. I can't imagine how she must be feeling, but looking at her crestfallen expression, I can get a glimpse into it.

I take a hold of her hand and squeeze it reassuringly. She immediately crashes onto my shoulder.

"Clary, what do I do now? I'm such a failure! Now he's going to go all evil and it'll be all my fault," she says, tears falling out of her eyes like rain, leaving red splotches and more grief in their wake.

"No," I say firmly and I pull back and grip Vanessa's thin shoulders. "Its not your fault. He made his decision and that's his fault. Don't you dare blame yourself for this," I say pointing an accusing finger at her.

She laughs, sniffling and says, "Clarissa Fairchild, how is it that you always manage to make me feel better?"

"Its a gift," I respond cheekily to which she just grins in response.

***

Vanessa's POV

We all eat breakfast which must've tasted amazing, but to me couldn't have been more bland. Yes, that's how bad my mood is, and that's how much control he has on me. I somehow swallow, taking deep breaths and then I recount the incident that just happened. I nearly cry, seeing most of their poorly concealed disappointed looks, but then I glance at Clary who gives me a hopeful, 'you are a brave girl, don't cry' look and I manage to ignore the tears stinging my eyes and burning their way down my throat.
After all the pitiful looks and sweet optimistic sorry words from everyone, we try to make a new plan. Except the only problem is that we have no useful ideas.

We decide to take a break and I recollect something odd. Something I didn't have time to ask before, but I want to now, so that I can get my mind off of Damon. Just his name makes me want to curl up in a corner and drown in my sorrow. I feel like losing myself to the turmoil inside my brain, the one that threatens to take over and kill me from the inside. The one that promises pain and grief to no end, but one that is in some absurd way extremely welcoming and very hard to resist.

Oh and see what I said about him having such a huge effect on me. I blink and shake my head, clearing such thoughts from my head and focus on Clary's emerald eyes, that are right now my anchor. The only thing keeping me sane and I don't think she knows it, but I am immeasurably grateful to her for that.

"Clary, how were you able to open that door with the stele I gave you. I tried it and it didn't work, so how did you do it?" I ask, puzzled.

She lowers her voice and says, "When I was young, my father injected Angel blood into my body, so I have extra rune powers."

My eyes widen and I utter, "Wow."

Since it is a break, I go to my room to relax for a bit, trying to slowly absorb what Clary had said. Then I see something brown peeking out of my bag. Is that...? It can't be.