Depths •||• scomiche

20.

i woke up sweating and very scared.

i dreamed about falling off a building.

i dreamed about someone pushing me off a building.

it was terrifying.

i couldn't even see who it was.

where even am i?

i sat straight up and looked around. ah, i fell asleep on jacob's couch.

i got my phone from the table next to the couch and looked at the time. 3 am, that's early. i should probably go back to my room.

i turned on the light that was on the same table so i had a little more sight of the room.

i saw light coming from the kitchen.

that's probably jacob.

i got up and walked to the kitchen to tell him that i was leaving.

in the kitchen scott was sitting on the counter, his back against the wall, looking out of the open window.

scott noticed that i was there and turned to me.

he smiled and put the sleeve of his sweater over his hand, wiping it under his eyes. oh nooo, he was crying.
"hi."

his hand was hanging out of the window for some reason.

"are you okay?" i asked, sitting at the piece of counter that was free at his feet.

"yeah... did i wake you?" he said as he put his hand up that was hanging out of the window. he had a cigarette between his fingers and took a drag, blowing the smoke out of the open window.

"eh, no... not really no." i said.

scott smiled at me and tapped his cigarette out of the window to get rid of some of the ash, taking one more drag before putting it out on the top of his other hand. he threw it out the window and blew the smoke out, closing the window after.

why did he... put it out on his skin? why even is he smoking?

he didn't flinch whatsoever, even though he just literally put something that was on fire out on his bare ski- what's going on with him?

i also still don't know why he went to the hospital. i really want to fucking know.

"what's going on?" i asked.
"why did you go to the hospital? why are you doing all of this stuff? are you okay?"

"well..." he got off the counter and got in front of me. we were almost the same height because i was sitting on the counter, but of course he was still taller than me.

scott got a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and got a little container out of that pack.

he handed it to me.

it was a small white container with a word on it that was unreadable because the label was damaged.

i opened it up and there were little white pills inside. hmm.

"those are antidepressants... and...
oh boy, i thought i'd never tell you this..." he sighed.

oh god.

"but when you take too many at the same time... "

i'm gonna cry.

"... you might end up in the hospital."

i'm gonna CRY.

"and normally if people take antidepressants, they have this thing called depression."

i swear to god if he says one more thing...

"and in some cases those people do stupid little things to hurt themselves to distract them from other things."

i don't want to cry.

"but sometimes there are other things that distract them. good things. things that don't hurt. mostly."

what things?

he looked at me and smiled.

"what things?" i'm getting too invested in what he's telling me. i really really want to know.

"things like boys who are really sweet to you even though you were really mean to them the past couple of days..."

i'm...

is he saying this all now so he can say he didn't mean it tomorrow? ugh, i don't hope so.

"things like this..." scott put his hands next to me on the counter, where i was still sitting, and stepped a little closer.

HA jokes on him because i kissed him first.

it was short and sweet and cute and ugh i missed this.

we're literally in jacob's kitchen.

i totally forgot.

but that's fine.

scott looked at me and smiled. his amazing smile is back. i love that smile so much. it's i think the first thing that i saw about him that really stood out to me.

i wanted to kiss him again.

normally i'd think 'this isn't a good idea', but now i think it is.

i just missed kissing his stupid face.

i just missed his stupid face.

i love his stupid face.

his face isn't stupid.

what even am i doing?

scott was just looking at me with that smile on his face. he's so cute i want to cry.

"i'm tired." i said. why did i say that? that doesn't even make sense in this situation.

scott just laughed.
"i'll bring you to your room."

-

i quietly opened the door, really not wanting to wake troye.

"goodnight." i said very soft.

"i'll text you." scott smiled and walked off.

-

i have pillow talk stuck in my head helP

also hi

how full is your phone battery?

22% but im too lazy to plug in the charger that's literally next to me

anyway bye !