Heartbroken . fillie

☆nine

Chapter nine- and a cry for him
M I L L I E
☆

I slowly watched the hand of clock tick, ready for the dismissal bell to ring.

These last five minutes of the day were probably one of longest times of my life. I swear five minutes in my bed during the morning is shorter then this.

"Have a great weekend!" Ms. Dryer sang. I was probably the first one out of that stuffy classroom as I bulleted into the hallways, hoping to beat the crowd.

As I quickly made my way out of the small school, I felt hand grab onto my shoulder, startling me.

I turned around instantly in fear, ready to slap who ever it was.

"Hey mills," sang Rowan. I let out a sigh as I continued walking.

"God Row," i said to her. "You have to stop scaring me like that." I could see her laughing to herself from the corner of my eye, causing a smile smile to appear.

"Hey so I was wondering if-" before she could finish, I cut her off.

"If your asking about that party Gaten throwing then the answer is no." I could hear her sigh as we walked closer to my house.

It wasn't fact that I didn't like party's, in fact, I loved them. They were like hobby in a way. It's just that, every single party that I've gone to, especially after Sadie and Finn got together, it's been hard.

Seeing them dancing and laughing was like toucher. It reminded me of what used to be, before I ended it.

"come on mills," Rowan whined as we entered my room. I let out a sigh as I rolled my eyes. "Please come to the party!"

"Looks," I said as I turned to her. "I don't think Romeo will be up to going plus, I have homework from ms. Ryder."

Her eyes widened for a moment as her jaw dropped. It looked like she was at loss for words as she kept opening and closing her mouth like a fish.

"Since when did you care about homework? Especially when that homework came from ms. Ryder? And what does Romeo have to do with any of this?" She asked in disbelief as she sat down on my bed.

I now was trying to think of a comeback but just like Rowan was, I was at loss of words.

"W-well, he's my boyfriend," I lied as I scratched the back of my neck. "And maybe I care about my grades?" I added which came out more as a question then a statement.

Please believe me

I watched as Rowan tilted her head and squinted her eyes at me. I prayed to God that she would go along with everything I just said but like always, I don't always get what I want.

"You don't care about your grades." She stated as she slowly shook her head. I nodded my head as I took a seat beside her.

"You're right, I don't."

I let out a sigh as I fell back.

What was I doing?

"Why are you even with him?" I heard her ask quietly, breaking the silence. I shut my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

Why am I with him?

"I um, like her I guess. He's nice and caring and-" before I could finish, Rowan cut me off.

"But you don't love him like you love Finn." She said quickly. As his name slipped out of her mouth, it made my heart stop.

"Loved you mean," I said in a raspy voice. I bet Rowan could tell that I was lying because I couldn't lie for shit.

Ignoring my previous comment, a small sigh excepted her lips as she fell back, joining me.

"Are you even thinking straight? Are you drunk?" She asked, slightly offending me. I let out a small gasp as I was not expecting her accusation.

"Why are you dating another boy when your clearly still in love with Finn?" The question easily rolled off her tongue showing me that she really did care.

"It's because I'm trying to get over him," i said as I carefully chose my words. I didn't need Rowan believing that I was still desperately in love with him.

I could slowly feel the annoyance and nervousness building up inside of me. I prayed to God that that questions would stop, even though I knew Rowan was only coming from a good place.

"Why would you do that? You are still so-"

"Because I can't have him, Row!" I snapped as I sat up. "He's with Sadie now and I screwed everything up that one stupid night last year and it's all my fault that we are not together right now!"

Before I knew it, I couldn't go on. My throat felt as if it was holding back one million sobs while my vision became foggy with all the tears that were flowing out of my eyes.

"Mills calm down," she said quickly as she wrapped her arms around me. Right then, all my sobs came pouring out, uncontrollably.

So much for not telling Rowan.

-
ahhhh guess who finally updated!!

sorry for any typos ://

kisses,
madds