The heart of an 'ex' lover!

The planter!

I remember laying on my bed in the darkness of the night,making up images of scary shadows that were out to get me. I rolled out of my bed to spread out my curtains and let in some light and as I stared into the sky.....

The moon was out in its full crescent
The night was quiet
The breeze that fled in was gentle and it had a tender feel on my skin. It was in that moment the thought of you crossed my mind and I felt it, I felt your absence!

I was broken by the emotional game you put me through... I agreed to be your source of pleasure if it meant you would come back for more and I would get to see your face but in the moment I stopped giving, you stopped coming and that was when I realized the true weakness of my existence ..... I was a hopeless romantic for you when you never really loved me.

You were always a planter never for once were you the gardener

You never water me ....nothing important came as a benefit to being in a relationship with you

You never separated the weed from me ....every leg in a skirt gave you pleasure and satisfied your craving hence I became nothing of importance to you,since it was the same wine you tasted everywhere.

You never let me see the sunlight with you .....I was that ugly secret noone else had to know about, when I was with you I was never free of prejudice.

But I was irrational to my own health because even though you added no manure or substance to my existence, I always found a way to bend my parts for you,in order to ascertain my own sun, to be a good plant for you.
I extended my roots to be able to tap water from mother nature so I could look good for you.....

Although I grew amidst your farm of resilient weed, I struggled to be noticed by you, I was loyal and very subjective even in the days you left me to die but through it all, my efforts meant nothing to you.....

And in the days I was tired of trying you left me to die....when another flower sprouted out in your garden ,you abandoned me,you left me for her, I watched you take good care of her even better than you ever did me ....and this was all after abusing my kindness to you but well in my defense I knew no better.

There I laid in my final days about to die before a gardener came along and asked for me and you gave me up without a fight then it got to me that I never really meant much to you!

Now the gardener gently uprooted me, pulling kindly from the dead soil without manure where you left to die, all because he saw the worth in me that you never did!

He talked to me even though I never spoke back to him, I was cruel to him though he was so good to me because I didn't want to appear worthless,naive and cheap to him,
But he tolerated all that hate
He watched after me daily,
He tended to all my wounds and broken parts till they became whole again,
He waited on me,never left me or gave up on me,
He waited as long as it took for me to heal, he let me bask in the glory of the sunlight,allowing me air my sins without judgments..... He was there for me,
he waited!

He removed all the weed around me because he wanted me to grow perfect without interference to my greatness.

He was happy I was his,
He wrote my worth on the skylights,
He was satisfied and content with having me, never for once did he ever complain,
He told me I was all he wanted and that I was enough
He let me grow in my full blossom and he was proud of me.

The planter!
Funny the day you came visiting, you couldn't recognise me because I looked better and I was hopeful....
I could see beyond your infatuations, I could tell you wanted me.
I could see the jealousy and envy in your soul, I knew you wished you treated me better.

Now you want me back,
Now you realized you can actually treat me better,
Now you want to kill for me....
You never believed I would survive but I did!
And now you want me back because your precious flower did you wrong,

here are my words to you, dear planter,
I would rather die than let you drag me through hell again because now I know better, I know now the difference between a planter and a gardener......now I want better for myself!

And my words to you, my dear gardener,
Thank you choosing me and investing in me, I give you my word today, never to stop loving you, never to give you reasons to regret me, I would be your flower and your lady till the days we are old and even in our ghost lives!
I love you!

30/11/2017