I know you will eventually see this baby.....I know it hurts .....I see it in your eyes when you tell me its okay!
I feel it in your words....when your reassure me you are not him, yes you are not and I'm sorry I'm putting you in the position of paying for the sins you know nothing about!
I hurt when you hurt from the distrust in my voice when I tell you its fine.....I hear the words you whisper underneath your breath when you tell me you are not him!
It hit me when you asked me "who ever did this to you?"
It's all on me baby ....
I refused to heal from the hurt,
I let the pain eat in too deep,
I allowed it all get to me,
Now I'm here trying to write my feelings down hoping that you see it and you are able to relate to the fact that its you that is all up in my feelings now .
It's you I'm giving my holy love to,I want us to love till it hurts to live without ourselves ...I want our love to bask without shame ,if its not too much to ask.
It's you I want to give myself to, I want you to pick my broken healing heart up and redefine love to it, show me a different type of love,touch me without your hands.
It's you I want to spend most nights with, making good memories, and when indeed you eventually touch my being, I want you to learn every part of me like a course, and bless every inch of me with your essence.
I want to own every bit of you, to possess your being ..... I want to make intense magic with you such that you crave my presence in my absence!
But before you try
I want you to know I come with a lot of dead secrets like thorns on beautiful roses.....I must warn you before you agree to jump into love with me that I have an ugly past. I have been ugly before. please don't judge me because I have issues.......don't give up before you try I'm only human...... just give me the chance to show you that you choosing me was not a mistake ....I promise you .....you won't regret it!
I want to hear them all, all your sins ,because I believe we would birth the kind of love that can heal all our pains, wounds and solve our problems.
The problem is that I don't know what you want....because the hardest fact to swallow is that you may one day find another me.
So when you say you love me baby, I want to know for how long!
When you say you want me, I honestly hope the feeling remains evergreen!
I just hope your love remains real, the type that makes you wish you had me till the end of time,that kinda love that makes you wish you were the only one I see when I enter a crowded room.
I want our love to speak a special kind of language, our own language , I want that jealous kind of love....I want to wake up early in the morning text you and get your responses almost immediately. I want you to randomly text me about some funny random shit that makes me wonder why I was blessed with such a crazy ass nig'a.
I don't want the love the world has I want our love to originate from our DNA , no filters, no shades, just us, just love!
I want a foolish love ........a love that remains, I want something ordinary with all its flaws,I want to grow in love with you...but my worry is that you may not be wanting the same thing!
But I'll wait for you .....and when you do come, I want us to put our best in this 100% not 50 but 100% baby because I want us to want us....treat me better,treat me right, show me a different kind of love and I promise to be all you want and more!
29/10/2017
YOU ARE READING
The heart of an 'ex' lover!
PuisiI hope that one day when you eventually see this, you find in it all that you will ever be needing! the truth is that we all need that certainty that everyone else is just simply human like us and that they all have issues that may be binding them f...
