The heart of an 'ex' lover!

ex!

👀👀👀👀👀
When you left me
I became rather dead than alive because you left with my heart......
When you left me
I felt lost, confused and sad....
When you left
I became despondent and boring because you sucked away my joy......
When you left
You left me broken because I cried most nights to sleep and fake-smiled through the most days.....
When you left
I became so annoyed at myself and everyone else because I couldn't understand what I possibly did wrong!

😵😵😵😨😨😨😨😭😭😭😭😭
But when I heard about her,
No No No...lol....when you told me about her, the one you loved and always wanted, I felt low,cheap and empty, I mean I felt like your rebound, it was clear that I never really meant much to you....

😠😡😢
After you left to be with her,
I became creepy, weird and petty,
I stalked you
I stalked her
I trash talked you and hated on you for so long!
I tried to shame the hurt I felt whenever I saw you two!

I became obsolete to the feelings love,care and trust!
I became pessimistic about relationships!
I became the worse in this period,
I denied the feeling of hurt and hate because I couldn't believe I was brokenhearted.
I became angry with the world
I became resentful to even myself
I played the part of an ex so shamefully

I left messages and never replied when you, I did it all
I knocked at you door and ran,
I became friends with your friends to know if I could get updates on you,
I even tried to make you jealous by hanging with guys you knew with hopes that the talk about me moving on without you would hit you and you'd come running back to me,
Each time I saw you sad I worried what was wrong with you but then again I was not talking to you so I couldn't ask!

👑👑👑
When all hope was lost and I decided to help myself and live for me!

Then, the healing period came

I became numb to trying when it hit me that you became happy without me,

I became lazy to keeping up with the happenings in your life because I realised you didn't care anymore, I was just that girl you once knew almost insignificant to your thinking,

So I got busy,with school work,with making money, with my life seeking for new ways to be happy again

I studied happiness but there was no spot on source of happiness so I sort ways to be happy

I prayed for God to take the hate, and teach me to love me again...

To my future self,❤❤❤

As the present that has lived through the past and survived, honey you'll grind,you will make waves .....

As the present me,
I promise to endure the pains, worries and hurt so we can ball later

I'll be strong for you

I'll make live easy for you

I'll heal for us,

And I'll survive for us!

I'll keep fighting relentlessly till we get there......I'll make you proud!

To my past,❤❤❤❤

Baby, you done some bullshit to be sure that I survived,

You fought for us,

And lived through hell for us and I'm proud of you,thank you for not giving up!

To my future self,❤❤❤❤❤

I hope that all our hustle eventually pays off,

And when the future comes I hope that you'd be happy,

I hope you'd be wiser and more careful,

I hope that I ,the present, put in enough work and you are living as happy the way you should!

The heart of an angel having you close fills me with love, joy and hope,nothing is impossible with you by my side,you are my little angel and I promise to treat you right from today! @ me!⭐⭐⭐⭐

23/12/2017.