Exterior

  23.

When I woke up everything was so bright and my eyes stung. I tried to move but for some reason I was just so weak. My head was like a feather and I felt so loopy. A cool hand placed my back down again gently and as my vision returned, I noticed who it was and I remembered what had happened last night.

I stared up at the man I 'loved' and I just became so sad. He became angry at me for caring about him, then he purposefully intended to hurt my feelings and had sex with another female. I remembered asking for death, and as it seems by my weak state, I was almost granted it. I hated that he'd purposefully made me feel like shit. I hated that he'd acted so poorly and I hated that just as we were starting to get everything right, it all fell apart.

Tears welled up and I couldn't even look him in the eye. He went to dry my tears but this only pissed me off, "Fuck you." I said and burst into tears. It took so much effort to turn away from him and move my body into a ball. I was hurting so badly and I hated what he did. This was meant to be our safe house, but I should've known that danger would still follow us.

I didn't even bother hiding my tears, I continued to cry loudly. "Sweetheart, you're breaking my heart..." He muttered and I scoffed, "You don't know anything about heartbreak until your alleged soulmate takes another girls hand and leads her upstairs to fuck her. You don't have the fucking right to call me 'sweetheart'." I angrily whispered, I was slightly regaining strength but I still could barely get words out. I hated how he purposefully left me standing there and knew that it would break me.

"You kissed Emrick though? I'm not the only bad one here..." He mumbled and I just sobbed more, my chest hurting more and more with every cry, "He kissed me and you know what? I hated it! It was disgusting and I didn't kiss back because I loved you and it felt wrong! There was no spark at all! I was repulsed by his actions and it was awful! Okay?!" I tried to scream but due to my state it sounded more like an angry whisper.

I continued crying, "I hope she was fucking worth it." I muttered bitterly and I heard Andy sigh, "We didn't do anything Scarlett. I promise! I was drunk and I wanted you to be jealous and you looked so goddamn fucking beautiful and I hoped you'd come up there and take that bitch away from me! I wasn't thinking logically, but I love you so much, okay? I was drunk and I'm sorry for overreacting earlier that day too..." He apologised but I wasn't buying it, not yet anyway, I was still hurting.

"You made me feel worthless Andy, and you made me beg for death. How does that make you feel? You made your own soulmate want to die because she couldn't live without your love and because she thought you'd left her. You bought into your own exterior, a selfish vampire...again." I muttered. I was still turned away from him on the bed and I could tell that my words cut like daggers and I heard him storm out of the room, angrily.

I burst into tears again and I soon began to cry myself to sleep.

~

When I woke up, I was feeling less weak and I heard my stomach grumble loudly. I got out of bed lazily and noticed that I wasn't in my party dress? Did he undress me? What the fuck! I added that to the list of annoyance at him and I held back my tears. I didn't want to cry again.

It took so much effort to walk downstairs and each step took a long time because I was still somewhat weakened.
When I was about to enter the kitchen I heard loud voices yelling and I knew exactly who it was. "If you hadn't decided to have this stupid party, she wouldn't have almost gotten killed!" Andy yelled aggressively toward his mother and I frowned, "Actually, if you weren't an asshole it wouldn't have happened. I was having a great time until you ruined it! Amy was trying to do something for you to make you feel accepted back into your own home but you're too selfish to realise that she's trying to get you to forgive her! Take some responsibility for your actions..." I said harshly as I entered the kitchen. Both of them looked shocked, yet Andy was still fuming.

"She doesn't deserve my forgiveness." He said bitterly and I slowly approached him, "And you don't deserve mine." I stated starkly and Andy's eyes turned black as he realised we'd reached a stalemate.

I moved slightly closer, "I'll forgive you, when you forgive your mother." Andy stepped closer to me and I tried not to whimper at how great he smelt. Although I was heartbroken, that motherfucker still had such an effect on me.
I stood my ground and narrowed my eyes, before Andy angrily stormed away.

I was still weak and almost collapsed after pretending to be strong. I thankfully fell onto one of the kitchen stools and I took my seat. Amy looked over at me and I knew that she could sense my sadness. My lip began to quiver and just as I began to cry, Amy embraced me. I sobbed into her arms and she held me tightly. She was a better mother than my own had ever been to me and I encompassed that. I sniffled and let go of her, "I love him but I hate him." I said and we both laughed at the idea.

Andy then screamed out in pain, and we both snapped our heads towards the sound in the distance. My heart broke, but that's how I felt last night and he deserved to be in pain after what he'd done. "Wow, I thought that the 'I hate you' thing was only a myth for soulmates..." Amy muttered and I softly smiled.

He then busted through the doorway. He was clutching his chest profusely and his facial features were scrunched together. He fell to his knees and he was yelling again, "Please say you love me or that you don't hate me to make it stop, please. I'm begging you!" He yelled jaggedly. His soft, blue eyes met mine and were pleading to make the pain cease.

It hurt to see him in pain, even though he definitely deserved it. "I don't hate you." I muttered and he began to recover slowly. "Now you know how I felt last night." I stated aggressively and Andy gradually stood up.
"Because I fucking love you and I can't stand not being in your presence, I will try to forgive her." He said sternly and he pulled Amy away by her arm. I hated how aggressive he was.

I sat alone at the kitchen table and held back tears. I didn't know what to do. I was at a crossroads in my decision making. I wanted Andy back and to forgive him, but I knew that a lot had to change before that could occur. He'd have to make it up to me big time and we'd have to discuss so much.

My brain hurt from over thinking and so I decided just to leave my mind as ease momentarily and try to distract myself.