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Love Kills

  37.

Andy's POV

When I saw her kiss Damien, I felt my heart break completely.

I wasn't even angry, I was just...confused? I was so sad that she'd faked her forgiveness and that she'd actually lost her love for me. I could barely even process it because it was so sudden?

I'd been too shocked over the past few days to even make sense of the situation. It just didn't add up? Our relationship was going perfectly and I'd felt such a deep connection with her lately but perhaps I was mistaken and her actions were not true to what she believed?

I sat on my bed and stared down at the floor. I was in such disbelief and my chest had never ached so badly. I just wanted us to work? I didn't know what had happened and I knew that I was just broken. Completely broken.

I'd prayed that she'd call, but she just never did and it hurt more than words could ever describe. It was as though she'd just forgotten that she loved me and the thought was more than I could take.

I was completely lost and I had no idea what I should've been doing to resolve the situation. If I went back to her, she would never feel the same about me and I would just end up in more pain. 

I knew that she'd lost her love for me and it hurt because she was everything to me. She was the oxygen that I needed and I never knew how she'd always make everything seem okay even when I was at my lowest point... but I knew those days were over.

I paced around my house- hoping that I could think of a way out of this mess but every time I closed my eyes to think, all I could see was her face and the image of her kissing Damien burnt its way into my heart and a single tear fell from my eye. I'd always suspected that she'd liked him when we first met, but I concluded when she kissed me for the first time that she didn't, maybe I was wrong to ever believe that I could be the one for her, soulmates or not?

I wiped the clear, cold tear from my cheek and confusion overwhelmed me. I didn't know vampires could cry properly? We could sob... but tears?

~

I was more than just intoxicated. My world was spinning and I was trying to forget anything about my love but I just couldn't forget her. I could not forget the way that her dark hair fell perfectly down her shoulders and how her eyes used to light up when she'd see me.

I threw an empty bottle of vodka at the wall of my lounge room and began crying. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to want to rip the whole house apart and burn towns apart, but I was just sad and I didn't know how that could be? 

Anger had always been my outlet but Scarlett had always proven to me that it wasn't the right decision? I never realised how much she'd actually influenced my behavioural patterns? Another tear fell from my eye as the image of her returned and I sobbed even more as I recalled how she always knew how to calm me down and showed me how my anger affected others and I would be forever thankful for how she changed me.

~

Her body lay sleeping in front of me. She was so pure- so delicate. Her pale skin looked so soft and I wanted to see for myself.

I hesitantly approached her bed as she lay resting and bent down. In my crouched position, I slowly reached up to touch her skin and admire the beauty of this girl. I felt so strange? She was my only source of attention and as my large hand met her warm skin, butterflies floated around in my stomach.

I brushed her hair away from her face and swiftly moved to lay down next to her. I was so compelled to do so. The beautiful girl snuggled into me and I felt so complete? Her warm body moulded softly around mine and a smile plastered its way onto her small face.

Her grin made me smile and I wondered why I liked this human so much? Her scent had driven me to her and as appetising as she was, I wanted to care for her- protect her.

A soft, delighted moan left her lips and I snuggled closer to the girl next to me. She was perfect.

~

Remembering the first time I saw her only made my sadness grow. Over the past few days we were so disconnected and as much as I tried to prevent it, it was inevitable. I shouldn't have believed in false hope. We could never have worked.

I was just a bloodthirsty vampire who loved one human more than anything... but she stopped loving me back.

I headed down to the basement, running into walls as I went and I started searching through my possessions. I searched for what felt like hours before I'd found what I was searching for.

A garlic covered stake.

~

I groggily walked out of the doorway to my house and I didn't even bother shutting the door.

I headed directly to my car and drunkenly began driving to my destination. I slammed the door and turned the key in the ignition.

As I drove, I remembered the look on her face as I proposed to her and how happy she looked. I'd never been happier in my entire life and all I wanted was to marry her and make her completely mine.

Was her reaction fake? Did she say yes because she meant it or was it just a cover up?

I hit the dashboard of my car and internally screamed. I wanted her to love me, and I couldn't deal with the idea of her not and so death was the only option for me.

I considered staying to protect her, but then I'd have to watch as her happiness continued whilst I was dying inside and that was definitely too much pain for a vampire to handle.

~

I reached my favourite lookout point and seconds later I was at the top of it. I stood out and remembered how Scarlett had loved this place and I reminisced on how hesitant she was when we first came here.

I sat down and looked at the garlic stake and sat down for about an hour, contemplating death and what would be after it for a vampire. I never had despised being a vampire, I'd just hated the killing part... but I guess I wouldn't have to worry about it for much longer.

My head was still spinning but I thought of Scarlett and tried to remember the times that we were so perfect before it all came crashing down. I wanted to die when old age took her, but I had no point to life if she didn't love me back. I wouldn't be living, I would just be existing, eternally.

I took the stake out of its ancient box and stared at it sadly. The pointy object was dominating and I was careful not to touch the flakes of garlic that surrounded the tip.

Scarlett had made me into such a better person and deep down I knew that the odds were against us, but I just thought that our love would last? A final tear left my eye and I stood up.

The wooden stake scared me but I knew that I needed to find peace with nothingness to release me from the pain inside my chest. It was burning so badly and surely a stake would hurt less than what I was feeling at the time.

I gripped it tightly in my palm and held it to my chest region- facing my heart. I closed my eyes and pictured her face, "I love you so much, Scarlett. Forever."

~

A/N: Emotional chapter I know, but "You have to have the darkness for the dawn to come." - Harrison Ford. ;)